Although we don’t do Christmas shopping around here, we aren’t a bah-humbug family. The holiday has no religious significance for us, but we do appreciate the idea of a season (supposedly) dedicated to the ideas of peace, love, and taking care of others. We sometimes get a little Charlie Brown tree, although we’re not planning to do so this year. We don’t spend a weekend stringing lights all over our house, but we do appreciate the lights that the town puts up, and the displays that some of our neighbors create. We don’t do gifts, but we love getting together with friends and family during the holiday season.
Basically, we’ve taken all of the stressful aspects of Christmas and eliminated them (years ago, we did do things like climb around on the roof putting up lights and wander through the mall buying gifts), and that has left ample time to enjoy the parts of the season that we find pleasant. December is not a stressful month in our house – it’s pretty much the same as any other month, but with a bit more time spent with family and friends.
For the last nine years, I’ve been making Christmas ornaments for our nieces, but I decided to let our son make them this year. When we go to story time at the library, he loves using the glue during whatever craft session they have. So a few days ago, I dug into my craft supplies to look for ideas. I found a sheet of white craft foam, some ribbon, a bottle of craft glue, and oodles of little embellishments, stickers, and do-dads. I cut the craft foam into circles, punched a hole in each circle to string the ribbon hanger, and then let our little guy dig into the bling. I covered each circle with glue and then let him pick out fancy stuff to add. He had a blast, and the ornaments turned out looking really cute.
Yesterday, we walked to the post office to mail them, and he was quite proud of his creations, and sure that his cousins will like them.
We’ve explained to our son that later this month, our town will be holding a food drive for local families, and we’re going to take him to the grocery store to help us pick out food to contribute. We want him to be involved in the process as much as possible, and we’ll use it as an opportunity to explain what Christmas is really all about. He’s only two and a half, so the fact that we’re going to be spending our money on food for the food drive rather than gifts for him will be A-ok with him this year. I know that as the years go by, that might not be such an easy sell, but we’re hoping that we can gently teach him from a very early age to reject the consumerism that seems so rampant around the holidays, and instead to reflect on how fortunate our family is. We’re trying to raise a little boy who is happy and content with his life, just the way it is. Because if you aren’t content already, no new possession will change that – at least not long-term. We recently watched the movie What Would Jesus Buy, and I highly recommend it if you’re looking for a little inspiration to have a different sort of Christmas this year.
Our son is very much looking forward to the town parade of lights this weekend, and is most excited about the string of fire trucks and ambulances that will be cruising down main street with lots of lights and sirens. He likes going for walks and looking at all the holiday decorations people have up (he keeps asking if we can go into their yards to play with the “toys” whenever he sees a holiday statue or inflatable decoration). He’s excited to hang out with his grandparents and aunts and uncles for Christmas dinner. I love that he’s excited about the simple pleasures of the season – the same ones that my husband and I enjoy.
Leo Babauta of Zen Habits published a great article today called The Case Against Buying Christmas Presents, and it’s got plenty of inspiration if you’re looking to get out from under the stressful consumerism of the holiday season.
I hope your December is off to a merry start, with lots of laughter, happiness, and good times with family and friends. None of those things can be purchased… they’re all free if we just remember where to look for them.
tiffany says
I love that you simplified Christmas and the holiday season. This season holds no religious meaning for me personally. My fiancee is religious, though, and he holds on to that.
I am quickly getting over the stresses of the season myself. I am very tired of being expected to pay for inflanted airline tickets and car rentals to travel to see family that is expecting presents they don’t need and may or may not want. I suggested the past two years that we do no gifts, donate to charities in lieu of gifts, or have only homemade items as gifts for the entire family. Everyone balked at the ideas. I seem to be the only one who wants to be an anti-consumer.
This year I’m concentrating on giving people experiences, not things. Gift certificates to favorite restaurants, a manicure, or donating to a cause they actively support. I’m hoping that I can slowly whittle us down to small gifts, no gifts, or one giant secret santa, so everyone buys and gets only one gift.
I am so tired of the “i want” attitude of Christmas. I find it happening with me, as well. I find myself suddenly coming up with a list of things I must have just because it is 12/25. I’m really concentrating on focusing on what I have instead of inventing needs, and am telling people that I really don’t want anything for Christmas. Really.
Thriftysassymama says
I really like that you are simplifying. Next year I plan on only giving to my kids and ask others not to exchange. I just get so tired of the stress, because it really does just bring too much stress. I would rather just do away with it. I know families and friends who spend MAJOR money on gifts for their kids, and their kids don’t need anything. One friend has a son with an entire room FULL of toys that he doesn’t even play with. This year for Christmas they bought all these new toys for him and it just seems like a big waste because he doesn’t even play with any of it in his room as it is. I like the way do the holidays. Much simpler. I do think you might run into issues when your son is older though, because he’ll understand that people get gifts and might feel like he is lacking. I hope not though. I hope he enjoys the time spent together more.
Lesley says
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I find it very interesting and thought-provoking.
While my intentions for the Christmas season are quite different from yours, I have totally embraced the ideas of giving “experiences” instead of things whenever possible. For my oldest son (8), we’ve purchased a couple of horseback riding lessons at a great price. We’re going to get him some IMAX tickets, maybe a couple of tickets to an art exhibit, etc. Added up, the prices are less than toys. We’ll have a few things under the tree, but for the most part, we want to DO things, not clutter the house with more unplayed toys.
The younger son (3) is harder at his age. But ice skating lessons are a possibility, as is a membership to a kiddie gym. In his case, a few more inexpensive wrapped gifts may be called for.
We’ve been doing this for some time with close family. Mom gets pedicures, and never gets tired of them. Dad gets tickets for the whole clan to a sporting event. You get the idea. Much more fulfilling in the end.
Angela says
I love reading your blog and I’ve been working hard to pare down and simplify! I just boxed up all of our DVD’s and CD’s and donated them to the library today along with a good chunk of the books (several hundred items total). I’m working through the rest of the books, too. And we’re definitely trying to refocus our Christmas. We are giving gifts, but only handmade things or experiences. So no shopping!
But, we are going to put up Christmas decorations outside — we don’t go overboard. We put one string of lights across the front of the house and lights in the windows. That’s enough for us, but I feel good about contributing to our block and creating that experience for everyone. Granted, there’s way too much much much with it all, but if nobody put up any decorations, there wouldn’t be any to see.
That’s what works for us, of course, it isn’t right for everyone! :-) Thanks for posting and sharing all of what you do! I really appreciate it!
~Angela
Kaytee says
I make B&B pickles every year that we gift to people. The only one who finds fault with them is my mother, but that’s because I use her recipe and “mother knows best.”
Mostly at this time of the year, I coat pinecones with peanut butter and roll them in seeds to leave at the bases of trees. My husband teases me about feeding small woodland creatures, while sneaking globs of peanut butter coated seeds. I decorate my kitchen with things we’ve gathered from the backyard (leaves, berries, acorn top, etc). I try to spend more time in contemplation, knitting/crocheting, baking bread, sipping white pine needle tea. There is always a potluck on the 21st, but we are big into potlucks no matter what time of the year.
My husband and I don’t celebrate xmas, but his family does. We compromise by providing handmade gifts or making donations in someone’s name. We also send out holiday cards with an annual update letter for our relatives and friends that we don’t see much, but still enjoy getting the life update. Holiday cards are one of the compromises that we’ve made, someday all of our peeps will have email and we’ll be able to switch to an e-card.
The Silver Purse says
Research shows experiences are more powerful at providing warm memories than being given “stuff.” I love the little Xmas decor your son made! Experiencing the season with all our senses is the best way to enjoy it. Thanks for the post.
What Pigs Don't Know says
While the meaning of Christmas does hold a religious significance to us, everything else you mentioned regarding the season is completely in-line with our views. The commercialization of the holiday is completely out of control. The vast majority of people out there don’t need a single thing (myself included). Experiences, or time spent with relatives, or volunteering to help someone else should be what it is all about. Thanks for your post. You’ve inspired me to write my own! -Carrie
Katie @ Imperfect People says
We have enjoyed a crafty homeade christmas this year too! I love it!
Cassie - Vegan Fox says
A pleasant read! I really like the idea of sending out ornaments. I’m hoping to have my nieces over soon to make ornaments to go in stockings for the family. Thanks for the link to “The Case against buying presents,” definitely inspiring!
Mostly I had to comment because I was so excited that you listed your son’s crafting at his library. I work with teens in a public library and love it! I have been thinking a lot lately about leading story-times occasionally in the Children’s department.
Colleen (365lessthings.com) says
I really enjoyed this post. You are doing your son a big favour raising him to be happy with less. Special times together are worth more than anything else in the world and you can’t buy them with money. Have a wonderful frugal Christmas and a happy new year.