I was planning to write this post soon anyway, but it’s interesting that two of my favorite bloggers, Tammy from Rowdy Kittens and Miss Minimalist, have recently written great articles about their wedding rings. Those are both well worth checking out if you’re looking for inspiration to avoid or get out of the consumerist trap of spending thousands of dollars on diamonds.
My husband and I got engaged almost eight years ago. We spent two thousand dollars on a diamond ring (happily, we had the money to write a check for it, but that’s still an awful lot of money when I look back on it now). Then in 2007, we decided to sell it, put the proceeds into our HSA and an IRA, and we bought a simulated diamond ring from Diamond Nexus Labs for $231 (that same ring now sells for about $600, although the price of a loose stone is still roughly what it was when I bought my ring. But the price of gold has gone up from about $650/oz when we bought the ring to over $1300/oz now).
The post I wrote about selling my ring generated quite a bit of controversy, including a lot of discussion about whether Diamond Nexus Labs is reputable and/or greenwashing their product. In response, I wrote another post about the controversy, and it continues to be one of the most-frequently used Google searches that leads people to my site.
I continue to be un-affiliated with DNL. I’m just a customer, and have never received any compensation from them for anything I’ve written on my site. But I did have another experience with them recently, and I thought some of you might be interested in the details.
I’ve done a fairly decent job of keeping my ring clean and in good shape, but my life involves a lot of time spent with my hands in soapy water or digging in the dirt, and my ring was starting to show a bit of wear. Back when I had a ring from the Shane Company, I could stop in at the store (a 15 minute walk from our old house) every six months or so and have them clean and check the ring. That option isn’t available with a ring purchased online from a jeweler in another state. So my ring had gone 3.5 years without any sort of professional attention. Then last summer, I was lifting heavy weights without gloves and while wearing my ring (I know, not so smart…). After I was finished, I noticed that the underside of the ring was bent. And then a few weeks ago, after a heavy gardening session, I noticed that the stone was a bit loose in its setting (I’m pretty sure I whacked it on the wheelbarrow). Anyway, I decided it needed to be looked at by a jeweler, and I called DNL about a repair.
The rep I spoke with emailed me a form to complete and mail back with the ring. I neglected to ask how much the repair would cost (I know, not like me… I’m blaming that on pregnancy brain). I mailed my ring back to them, and a few days later got an email stating what would be done to it and a total cost of $45. One of the things listed was rhodium plating, which I had not requested. So I called DNL to see if that was part of the charge. The lady explained that the rhodium plating was standard practice after a jeweler works on a white gold piece, in order to restore the finish (I remember the Shane Company telling me the same thing). I said no problem, that it was my mistake for not asking about the total price before I sent my ring in for repair. But the lady offered to deduct $15 from the charge anyway, and reduced my total bill to $30.
I got my ring back this week, and it’s perfect again. The bottom that I bent out of shape lifting weights is perfectly round again, the stone is tight, and all the gunk that had accumulated on the ring is gone. They did an excellent job of repairing the damage I had dished out over the years, and my ring looks as good as new. Not bad for $30.
The ring is sitting in my jewelry box now, because I’ve decided that my plain white gold wedding band (which we got from the Shane Company for $40 in 2003) fits my lifestyle better right now than a solitaire engagement ring. For the time while my ring was being repaired, I noticed that my plain band doesn’t get dirt stuck in it like the solitaire does, and I never worry about bashing it against things like wheelbarrows (yes, it’s a bit scratched up, especially compared with the newly-restored engagement ring, but that’s ok). My life is messy (I live on a mini-farm – of course it is!), and a plain band seems a bit more practical for now. I still love the look of the engagement ring, and I plan to wear it when we’re out and about, doing things that don’t involve digging carrots and potatoes out of the dirt, lifting weights, or washing dishes.
My experience with DNL’s customer service has been excellent both times that I’ve needed their assistance (I had to get the ring re-sized right after we bought it, and they were great then too). I feel that $30 was more than fair for all the work they did on the ring recently, and overall my experience with them has been great. I still don’t claim to know anything about their environmental claims, but I do know that I feel more comfortable buying a stone made in a lab in North America as opposed to a rock mined out of the ground in Africa. And I can no longer even imagine spending thousands of dollars for a tiny little rock, regardless of where it originated.
BigNan says
When my husband and I got engaged in 1970, he bought me a matching gold wedding band and engagement ring, which has three diamonds on it. That was when gold was $35 an ounce. For eight years I wore both rings constantly, but in 1978 I quit my office job to become a stay-at-home mother. My lifestyle changed completely – housekeeping, gardening, remodeling, child-rearing, – all of which are hard on diamond rings. Like yourself, FB, I started wearing just my wedding band most of the time. The engagement ring is kept in a safe location, and I wear it for special occasions. I found that the ring with the stones was not suitable for my more active, “dirtier” way of life.
average or not says
Saved here too.
When my then-fiancee and I bought rings before we married, we decided on a simple gold band. No diamonds, nothing just simple gold. (That was when gold was $300 an ounce.)
Cate says
I love this post. When my now-husband proposed to me almost 3 years ago, he gave me a lab-made ruby engagement ring. We were both uncomfortable with promoting the diamond trade, and I’ve never loved diamonds anyway. The ring is beautiful–though I don’t know what it costs. (Oddly, I’ve never wanted to know, even though I’m a huge financial nerd). But if we could do it over again, I think we’d probably opt for a simple band for both of us. I love the look of my ring, and I wear it everyday–but a plain band seems like a better fit in this season of my life.
Bree says
I found your blog a few weeks back and I really enjoy the content here.
I also sold my engagement ring. It was heartbreaking because I really liked the ring but my husband had credit card debt and we weren’t sure if he would be laid off due to the state his company was in, and having a ring seemed less important than having cash in our account. We ended up receiving a family ring from my relative, which is what I wear today. Once we are financially set (whatever that means), we plan on purchasing that same design engagement ring again.
In the end, it is just a material good. There are people with expensive engagement rings where the marriage doesn’t last. And diamonds really aren’t worth anything anyway unless they are 5 carats and above (a friend of mine worked at a well-known diamond company and he was the one to tell me this tidbit).
Heather says
When Dave and I started talking about getting married, I didn’t want him fretting over picking a ring, or putting himself into debt. I suppose you wouldn’t think of engagement rings as a DIY project, but that’s sort of how it turned out. I wrote about it here: http://www.mile73.com/?p=4261 Locally made, from my mom’s gold, by a small, independent jeweler. Not a diamond.
Rings are supposed to be epic and sentimental and you’re supposed to spend three months of your salary on it! And your marriage will be doomed to failure if you don’t spend every last penny on a huge sparkly rock! People will think your husband doesn’t love you!
Why are we ever convinced by this stuff?