Lately my husband has been spending huge amounts of time researching investment strategies. While we’ve both been committed to long-term savings goals for years, he’s really been getting into the nuances of it lately, and it’s made our retirement portfolios much more interesting to look at (of course they haven’t been much fun to look at this week, but that’s how it goes). Between our various savings accounts and the extra principal payments we make on our mortgage, way more than half of our income goes into savings, and the new things we’re learning about investing just make us more motivated to keep it up.
We were talking today about how so many people with incomes similar to ours end up spending most of what they earn each month. It would be easy to do, with payments on two newer vehicles, a more expensive home with a larger mortgage, several meals/movies out each month, some new (as in, not second-hand) clothes here and there… we started tallying up the money that an average middle class family could easily spend each month and it got high very quickly.
Then I started thinking about why people spend so much of their income rather than saving it. For us, a healthy IRA balance is FAR more exciting than a new car, but I know that this isn’t the case for a lot of people. In addition, a lot of people really don’t like their jobs, and feel huge amounts of stress over trying to balance work, family, fun, and all the rest of it. But those same people might have brand new living room furniture, top of the line kitchen appliances, a new car, and a house with lots of custom upgrades. The disparity between what they own and how they feel is striking. Many of them are working at a job they don’t really enjoy, just to pay for all the things they own.
Some things are worth the money. If a thing brings you great pleasure or gets used all the time, it was probably worth the money you spent on it. My VitaMix blender is a good example. It cost nearly $400, but I’ve used it at least twice a day (sometimes a lot more) ever since I got it in 2008. It came with a 7 year warranty, and I can’t imagine my kitchen without it. Each of us have things like that – a super comfortable piece of furniture, an outfit we feel great wearing, a vacation that created awesome memories… But a lot of us have things that we bought because we figured they would be impressive. And often times, it wasn’t ourselves we were trying to impress.
This made me start thinking about my friends, and our relationships with each other. I have friends with a wide range of incomes. Some have fancy houses filled with fancy stuff, and others have apartments with futons that they’ve had since college. And I can say for sure that I don’t care at all about any of it. They’re my friends because I enjoy spending time with them. They make me happy, and that doesn’t have anything to do with whether they have impressive “stuff.” Think about your own life and the people you love. Chances are, your friends and family don’t care about your stuff either. When they come over to visit, it’s to see you, not your new living room set or big screen TV. If you had to choose your five favorite people, my guess is that they would be the people who make you the happiest, who make you laugh, who provide a shoulder to cry on when you need it. And whether or not they have a new car or a house with granite countertops probably has nothing to do with it.
Just food for thought for the next time that the urge to buy something impressive strikes (and yes, it strikes me sometimes too, although I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing it for what it is and moving on). The people who love you will love you regardless of what possessions you own. The people who would like you better if you had more fancy stuff probably aren’t worth keeping around anyway. And a secure financial future will get you a lot further than anything you can buy at the mall.
Ok, I’m stepping down off my soapbox now. Hope you all have a good weekend!
Marie says
This is simply the most recent post in which you criticize your friends for what they believe in. What a terrible friend you seem to be. I suspect none of them read this blog.
FrugalBabe says
Marie,
I doubt any of my friends read this blog, simply because I’ve never told any of them about it, and the chances of them finding it among the millions of blogs out there is slim.
That said, I don’t think you actually read the post. I wasn’t talking about my friends, and I specifically mentioned that my relationships with my friends has nothing to do with the stuff we own, and our friendships are strong.
I was talking about people – not my friends – who claim to hate their jobs and feel stressed about their lives, but choose to spend all of their income each month, even when that income might be quite high. People in that situation are easy to find… they are all over the internet and books telling their stories.
Sherry says
Great blog, Babe! (Marie, dear, go back and read the blog again, and then apologize to FB. ‘Nuf said!)
FrugalBabe says
Thanks Sherry :)
Marie, your comment did get me thinking a bit about this subject. Should bloggers who write about frugality focus all of our posts on highlighting only good things – the awesome things we find at thrift stores, the ways we figure out to stretch our dollars… or should we sometimes take a more critical view, and point out unproductive things, as we see them? Since there are as many different blogs out there as there are bloggers, I’d say each person has a little different take on that question. For myself, most of my posts do tend to be on the positive side, about things I’ve made, found for free or in a thrift store, or ways we’ve saved money. But I know that when I read other bloggers’ articles, I like to see some kick-in-the-pants articles about how the things that people complain about are often things that they could do something about. So every once in a while I write those sort of posts too. But honestly, I didn’t (and still don’t) see this article as one of those. I saw it more as an uplifting post, a reminder that the people who love us will love us no matter what we own, and that relationships are far more important than stuff.
Alissa says
So true! When my husband and I were first starting out, we definitely fell into this category. (What?? Buy a new house without also buying all new furniture? Nonsense… (and of course we bought it all on credit and took years paying it off)). As a stay at home mom, I now truly could care less about impressing other people. It’s just not on my radar screen. I think it’s a little harder for those out working every day because they may be measuring themselves against their co-workers who fall into a similar income bracket, social status, etc. My husband has a professional designation and I think it’s a little harder for him, since he sees what all of his (dual-income) co-workers are spending money on, and it’s hard not to make social comparisons. None of his co-workers buy second-hand vehicles or shop at thrift stores! And they all have yearly ski passes, golf club memberships, impressive homes, etc. I can see how easy it would be to get pulled into that.
Zella says
I don’t know that it’s spending to impress people necessarily. For some people, looking like everyone else is a priority, and that’s how they choose to live, but they’re not buying stuff just to impress someone– they’re not even one-upping the Joneses– being a Jones is just their normal.
GC says
I think my family is pretty good on resisting spending money on things that impress others. But I think we could be happier and spend even less if we could be brutally honest with ourselves and brave enough to give up some of the things we feel we MUST have. I’ve been wanting to sell my car for a few years now. But somehow allowed others to discourage me (guess I didn’t want it badly enough). I’m dying to move away from the city and enjoy better mental health.
I HATE snow and would love to have one wardrobe for all year round. Then we wouldn’t have to spend money on a vacation to get me out of here before I completely lose it.
I HATE my job but and doesn’t even pay that much. If they were throwing money at me maybe I could stand it a little better.
Very nice post. You got me thinking.