For a long time now, I’ve been amazed at how many people feel that they have to have a “theme” in their children’s bedrooms. It starts before babies are even born, with parents picking out a nursery theme, and then it continues with new themes as the children get older. I’m sure that retailers love the fact that parents are so sold on the idea of having a theme. It’s a great way to get us to buy more stuff than we need, and to buy it all in one place. After all, if the theme you love happens to be at Pottery Barn Kids, you’re likely going to buy everything there because it will all match. This is craziness!
Our son has had the same room decor since he was born. He will continue to have a theme-less room until if and when he chooses to paint the room or change it up however he likes when he’s older. I remember my parents letting my brother and me repaint our furniture when we were probably around 11 or 12. I chose pink, my brother chose black. Our rooms were interesting, to say the least. But definitely reflective of our own tastes!
So, what’s in our son’s room?
- The crib that my parents got at a thrift store for $30 and then fixed up to make sure that it conformed to current safety guidelines. We have two crib sheets (they don’t match each other) that my mother found at a thrift store. He has three blankets: a fleece quilt and a heavy winter quilt that were made by a friend, and the retro NFL summer blanket that I made. None of them match anything else in the room. We have a handmade wooden toddler bed that we got on Craigs List a while ago, and we’ll be switching him to that soon. We want to keep him on his organic crib mattress for as long as possible, which is why we’re going to use a toddler bed instead of a bigger bed. The toddler bed is stored in the basement for now.
- A wooden rocking chair that my father made for my brother nearly 30 years ago.
- A small dresser that my husband and I got at a thrift store when we moved into our first apartment in 2001.
- A small shelf for toys.
- A changing pad on the floor. We bought a few used cloth diapers on Craigs List before our son was born, and the lady threw in the changing pad for free. Otherwise, we’d have probably just used a towel. We like having the changing pad on the floor – no possibility of our son rolling off of a changing table, and the pad on the floor takes up a lot less space. Next to the changing pad is a basket where we keep our cloth diaper stash, and a plastic shoebox where we keep wet washcloths that we use as wipes.
- Wall decor: Two original paintings of tractors that were done by an artist friend of ours, a clock, and a Denver Broncos pennant that my husband managed to get signed by just about the entire Broncos team in the mid-80s. It’s nicely framed and a perfect addition to a little boy’s room.
- A thick, light-blocking curtain that I made using old sheets.
That’s it. Nothing matches anything else in the room. Everything is functional, clean and safe, but there’s definitely no theme. The walls are the same off-white color that the previous owners of our house chose. This is mainly because we like light, neutral wall colors, and because we can’t see any sense in painting over perfectly good wall color. We did repaint the walls in our old house, because the paint job was about 15 years old and starting to show its age. In this house, the paint is about two years old.
It’s natural to want to create a nice cozy space for your child. But stop and think for a minute about the whole theme idea. There’s no doubt that it was created by marketers who are trying to sell us on the notion that we have to have a whole set of matching nursery furniture, a set of bedding that matches the changing pad that matches the curtains… and even a lamp to match all of that. We don’t need half the stuff that they market to us, and yet if it matches the theme that we’re using, we’re much more likely to buy it anyway. And if we’re trying to keep everything very matchy-matchy, we’re unlikely to be creative and look around for second-hand furnishings, bedding and decor.
Keeping in mind that reducing consumption of “stuff” is good for the environment, our wallets, and our souls, it makes much more sense to decorate our children’s room using stuff we already have, things we can get used, and things we can make ourselves. Paint is an easy, cheap way to spruce up a room (I highly recommend no-VOC paint. We used in it in our old house, and the difference between that and regular paint was light night and day. We slept in our bedroom just a few hours after we finished painting it, and couldn’t smell a thing). Kids need very little in the way of stuff, including furniture. For the things you do need, Craigs List and thrift stores are overflowing with kid stuff, including every type of furniture you could ever want (but don’t just buy a bunch of stuff because it’s cheap! Clutter is still clutter, even if you get a great deal on it). It’s actually pretty easy to furnish and decorate a child’s room without ever setting foot in a big box children’s retail store. And it’s a good lesson to start teaching our kids early: we don’t have to do things just the way advertisers say we should.
Rita says
I could not agree with you on this any more if I tried. I just has our first baby and we were amazed at all the stuff that you can get for babies that is nothing more than a way waste money. We went the used route on our crib not for financial or aesthetic reasons, but because we noticed that the old cribs were not recalled like the new ones are today. We also just used what we had on hand for decor in her room because she will out grow the themes (that we quite frankly find tacky) in a few years and we will have to re do her room. So like you her room is very functional (like the rest of our home) and most importantly safe. Though that we did not shell out for things she does not need is a very nice bonus.
Sara says
I completely agree! We did very similar things but friends and family thought we were nuts. We didn’t find out the gender of our baby, so they really couldn’t wrap their minds around our nursery not having a theme AND not knowing the gender. The look of utter confusion on most people’s faces was priceless. Well, and the grandparents were pretty pissed. Needless to say, we don’t have many like-minded people around us!
April says
I dislike traditional themes where everything is, say Winnie the Pooh. I think more modern nurseries are eclectic, and while I have no doubt I’ll do some decorating when I have a baby, much of it will be refinished furniture and DIY decor (my mom insanely crafty–she’s being featured in an upcoming national magazine for the doll clothes she sews).
So, I think together we can come up with something far more adorable and chic than matchy matchy crap from Babies R Us.
jaime says
I really enjoyed this post. I could not agree more. Before my son was born we decided that we were going to be as minimal as possible and keep the room cute and functional but definitely not matchy-matchy. Her is a picture of what it looked like when we came home: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaimebird/2946261611/in/set-72157608077511448/. Basically, we designated a corner of our bedroom for his things – a crib given to us by a friend, a dresser that was in my father-in-law’s boyhood bedroom, 2 plain crib sheets (one blue and one green), a blanket that I made using vintage circus fabric my sister found at a tag sale, an afghan I made using some wool i had in my stash, a box of diapers, a mobile, and (my one splurge) an art print. We used gifts and books given to us by friends and family to decorate the dresser. When my son was three months old we moved states and got a two bedroom apartment. However, we kept the same set up with out son in our bedroom. The only differences was we started using cloth diapers (we finally had our own washer and dryer) and needed a larger bin on the dresser. We never did use the crib. We have co-slept since my son was born. We kept the crib thinking he would eventually use it. He didn’t . A few months ago we gave the mattress to a friend and the crib to a neighbor. Our son just turned two and this summer we turned out second bedroom into his room. He still sleeps in our room, but he has been enjoying his own space as well. We applied the same themeless approach and were very happy with the results. For about $400 (including the price of everything we bought for him since he was born) we were able to create a super cute, fun, and happy room for our son. When people ask me what the theme of his room is, I say “little boy.” Here is the link to the blog post I wrote about it, including the cost breakdown: http://everythingidreamed.blogspot.com/2010/07/room-of-his-own-reveal.html
i am just realizing how long this comment was. could have been a post on my own blog. sorry to be so long winded. I guess i feel pretty strongly about this topic :)
FrugalBabe says
Glad to know that other parents feel the same way! April, congrats to your mom – that’s very cool! I’m sure you’ll be able to whip up all sorts of good crafty stuff. Jaime, I really like your son’s room. Our son has the same tricycle, and it’s one of his most-used toys. He now rides to the bank (2 miles round trip) with me and the dog walking beside him.
Karen says
My kids are actually my SK’s and I have never felt that they needed tons of stuff at our place(my MIL would and often DOES disagree). They have to share a room when they come to visit three weekends a month for two full days (Friday to Sunday). They always have clean clothing, a place to hang out, a place for their things and some privacy.
Kudos to you for not getting sucked in!
Andrea | LearningtoLiveSmall.com says
While I can appreciate your opinion, I’m going to respectfully disagree.
Creating a theme can be an expression of one’s creativity as a parent, not necessarily brainwashing by advertisers, and can be done on the cheap. But then again, I am an artsy type, and not everyone is.
Is it about need? No. But it can be fun to create something fun for the kid to look at & to stimulate their imagination.
A couple of bucks worth of craft paints and a craft paintbrush will do the trick. No matching furniture, bedding or extra stuff required.
Just the daring to draw on the walls!
But, to each his or her own.
FrugalBabe says
Andrea,
I agree. My point with this post was that there’s no reason to buy a bunch of matching stuff to fit a theme in a child’s bedroom. But creative artsy things and stuff like paint are a whole different story. Although I’m partial to bare, neutral walls, I love seeing rooms where people have painted beautiful designs on the walls. But if they then went out and bought a bunch of stuff to match the walls… that’s where they lose me. Like I said, it’s natural to want to create a cozy, safe space for our babies. But we can do it using things we already have, things we can get used, and things we can make or do ourselves (like curtains and paint). All of that is better for our wallets and the world than a bunch of matching stuff from a big box store.
Kilroy says
You know, people giving you stuff doesn’t count as frugal. They bought that stuff at some point, maybe even from Pottery Barn Kids or wherever it is you buy baby stuff. What about people that don’t have a large network of friends to get baby stuff from?
There are advantages to having a room that is designed well. It can be calming, stimulating, engaging, many positive things can come from a well designed and decorated room. Babies don’t need themes, but a nice looking room is a positive thing, not something to be looked down on.
White walls are boring, God made a bazillion colors for a reason, spread some around. (Not craft paint, it fades fast) Check out the reject section of your local paint store, great quality, lots of interesting colors, and inexpensive.
As far as themed sets from your local big box store, yes, it’s a little silly to buy that stuff. But decorating a baby room yourself? There’s nothing wrong with that.
Tiffany says
I think this can be applied to adult rooms, too. You don’t need everything matchy matchy. It’s easy to paint or refinish furniture to match. And, personally, I think the eclectic look brings more personality to rooms for people of all ages.
FrugalBabe says
Kilroy,
I’m not sure what you’re referring to when you say “people giving you things”? The changing pad? I would definitely consider that frugal, as the lady was going to throw it away if we didn’t take it, and I mentioned that we would have just used a towel on the floor if we didn’t have it. Nothing else in our son’s room was given to us after being purchased at a big box store. The crib was purchased at a thrift store (which, yes, everything in thrift stores was once purchased brand new, but buying things used is an excellent way to be frugal and environmentally friendly).
I disagree about the white walls. Well, not white, but neutral. None of our walls are white, but they’re all shades of grey/tan/off-white. That’s just the way I like it. But as I mentioned in the post and in a comment above, paint is a great way to spruce up a room and reflect your own individual tastes without conforming to what advertisers want us to believe we have to have for our children.
All of the rooms in our house are nice looking. They’re clutter free, well organized, and calming. I’m all about that. What I’m not about is buying a bunch of stuff to make rooms look like current magazine trends.
Patricia Polk says
Themes are totally based on what parents want. I laughed when I saw the title. I think one network started showing expensive baby rooms. Trust me, the baby only wants food, love, touch, and a safe environment.
I also know that parents choose the toys. I use to get upset because I spent $30.00 on a baby toy suggested by a magazine. My child wanted to play with my tupperware bowl. I have learned that it is the influence of the older person that affects the younger person’s perceptions and desires. ( Please note, I did not limit it to parents.)
There are certain things that I will not skimp on when it comes to babies.
Kristen | gezellig-girl.com says
I don’t mean to make something out of nothing, but with the tractors and football stuff, haven’t you already picked a theme for this room — the theme being “you are a boy; here, have some socially acceptable boy decorations”? Maybe I’m wrong… would you have hung these items in a girl’s room as well?
FrugalBabe says
Good question Kristen! Yes. In fact, we hung the tractor pictures in our son’s room before he was born, and we didn’t know his gender until he arrived. Some friends pointed out that the tractor pictures might not be the best choice if our baby was a girl, but we loved the pictures and that was all that mattered. Same with the football pennant… it was in the room before he was born. The crib sheets we have were also purchased before our son was born (one blue, one yellow with flowers). Our son plays with cabbage patch kids that were my husband’s back in the early 80s (my MIL saves everything!), and he loves to carry them around and change their diapers. He also loves trains and trucks and dinosaurs. We don’t buy much in the way of toys for our son (we bought him a tricycle and a small swimming pool, which we would have also bought for a girl), but we’ve noticed that he does seem to gravitate towards “boy” activities without any prompting from us.
Money Funk says
LOL. I remember my mom making all my curtains out of sheets. They were cool looking. And perfect because our house had custom extra long windows. Worked out perfectly.
Frugal Vegan Mom says
Amen to that! I have never understood this and luckily we don’t have any friends or family members pressuring us….yet. I’m only 4 months pregnant and we haven’t bought any baby stuff yet.
We did clean out the 2nd bedroom though, which felt awesome, since it’s just been a junk pit since we moved in last year, and re-painted it because I hated the first color we picked.
Otherwise I plan to get everything used. Really everything in our house is used, and there is no “theme”, but we do have a sort of quirkly sense of style and somehow everything fits together and everyone thinks our house is cute so it works for us.
I am so glad you documented all your frugl tips throughout pregnancy, I will definitely be making use of those archives in the months to come!
Thanks,
K
Pippi says
Hurray! I’m not alone! I hate decorating. I’m not good at it and it stresses me out. Planning a perfect nursery would have been torture. We didn’t have space for one anyway. My daughter got a used changing table and slept with us until we moved to a place with a room for her. We decorated it with her artwork. So far she’s not traumatized by my lack of decorating skills.
christy says
We did do a theme for both of our children, and I’ll probably do it again for the next baby. For me, it was a bonding experience for me and baby. And it wasn’t too expensive. I bought my son fishy themed sheets. My husband painted the room blue, and then I handpainted fishy pictures to hang on the wall. Then I went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond and bought clearanced blue curtains. His room has a theme, it all matches, and we didn’t spend a fortune. This post is kind of goofy. Decorating a baby’s room can be done on a budget, just like anything else.
Kelly says
When I was pregnant and found out we were having a boy, I chose Blue Jean Teddy theme for my nursery. ALL of the decor and bedding for the room was purchased for me by relatives off of my registry at Babies R Us. I’m lucky to have a large family as I didn’t need to buy a lot of things for my newborn son but dipes and wipes. Family wanted to buy us gifts and having a registry lets them choose gifts that they know we like.
Once my son was old enough, like 3..we took down all the Blue Jean Teddy stuff and gave it to Goodwill. He now has trains decorating the walls of his room.
Katrina R. says
I’m three months pregnant and NOT stressing about this matchy-matchy dilemma too. It all comes down to the fact the baby has no idea about interior decorating. There are a lot of inexpensive, thrift-store inspired ideas floating around to create a very charming and simple ‘theme’ without having to take the mainstream, full-price retail path. Family heirlooms, like quilts and furniture, carries so much more meaning and is timeless in appearance. In fact, I’m having a recycled baby shower and want friends and family to bring used things, not new!
The time to worry about decorating is when your child initiates it. The same for fashion/clothes. Consequently, it becomes a great moment to teach about budgeting. If she blows her wad all on Target knick-knacks and forgets the essentials like new sheets or pillows — lesson to be learned.
Frugal Babe says
Katrina, Congrats on your pregnancy, and I love the idea of a recycled baby shower! If I had thought of that, I might have consented to a shower when I was pregnant with our son :)
GC says
the last baby shower I went to, the soon to be born child was given a pink chandelier (I guess there was a princess theme)
no. . . babies do not need themes. . . nothing wrong with a nice, and neat room
Molly On Money says
I lived in a studio guest house until my daughter was almost 4. I never did find a parenting book that addressed parenting in small spaces- Time out was difficult to say the least! My room was her room and space was tight and so I opted out of most baby stuff. I didn’t even have a crib!
Once we moved into a house where she had her own room I let her design it and I painted it. I think it’s because I was brought up by an artist and both my husband and I are artists we’ve let the kids do what they want (on the cheap, of course!). My kids are 11 and 12 and I get a kick out of what they come up with in their rooms!
Jen says
There is nothing wrong with having a theme or not having a theme, I think the point of this article is to say it’s not necessary to run to Babies R’Us and pick out $2000 worth of stuff. I don’t know why some commenters find this article controversial!
Samantha says
It seems the objections are to “matchy-matchy” and “big box stores”. If you go to Babies-R-Us, and spend $200 on a matching 4 piece nursery set, believe me, you will spend way, way, more going to multiple high end boutique websites and stores to create a “magazine look”. Nothing matchy-matchy, and definitely nothing big box. But you have spent a lot of money. So what really is the objection? Spending money on decorating? I loved decorating both my children’s nurseries. (We moved b/t babies, otherwise I would have stuck with one room and been done with it.) Currently my daughter has several giraffes, all from different sources (gifts, wallpaper cut-outs I applied to an unpainted toybox after painting it, etc, all inherited from her brother’s nursery), polka dots, butterflies. Not much of a theme but all unified with a gorgeous color palette. I love it, and enjoy it every time I walk in there. But I did spend a fair amount of money on it, mostly the furniture which of course both children used and will be passed down to my next niece or nephew.
A baby is such a joyous event, and some people yearn for one and then get a big surprise (like my friend after ten years of trying)… what is wrong with celebrating baby’s arrival and having some fun? Plus, they do like stimulating environments. My husband made endless fun of me for buying a small jungle animals quilt (bought on craigslist for half what it retailed) and then hanging it on the wall. He reversed his position when he noticed our son spending a lot of time looking at the bright colors and shapes. That would be my only comment, as I’ve noticed a current trend toward more “adult” decor for babies, like soft colors and dots and stripes (think Restoration Hardware). Expensive and how boring for a baby.
bogart says
Wait, are you saying “used” isn’t a theme?!? Darnit!
Amanda says
I enjoyed the post — and the comments! It would be my idea to have a simple life with a baby. The battle in my head is that I don’t like kids, mostly babies, and I really think I just like the baby stuff! My DH and I agreed no kids when we got married so this is probably a moot point. However, if we have a surprise, I want to try to live simple. Budgeting is important to me, but that’s not why I’d focus on simple. I just don’t want my house cluttered up like when i grew up. House (all of it, not the toy room!) full of toys rarely used, etc. Clothes en masse clean, dirty all mixed up with 30 sets of towels!
Back to my point though–we were visiting a city last week and went into Macy’s –’cause I needed a piece of makeup I’d run out of and we don’t have access to locally (without shipping). Well, we walk in the baby door. THE CLOTHES WERE ADORABLE. Made me want to have a little girl. Just the stuff though. Even as hard as I’d try or wouldn’t want to spend money I think that would be my weakness. Buying cute crap we don’t need or could get at consignment! No stopping my fam from buying stuff! (That’s why the house was full growing up!)
Congrats on your simple life!
Greenbaby says
I can’t quite contain my exuberance for this topic! In general, there is such a craze to spend money on the transition to parenthood–as if it will make any of us ready for the shift. The average family spends a whopping $7,000 on baby’s first year alone. We at greenbabyguide.com find that amount shocking and a bit ridiculous. Rebecca (my co-blogger) and I each spent less than $1,000 on baby’s entire first year and we did it by buying less, buying used, and recycling what we already had. We’d be honored if you were willing to review a copy of our book, The Eco-nomical Baby Guide: Down-to-Earth Ways for Parents to Save Money and the Planet. Thanks for this refreshing post!
Maren says
Thanks for adding dose of sanity to the information I receive every day as a new parent. I am a new reader, found your blog when trying to find out what to do for warm sleepwear without flame retardants in it.
I noticed that the tutorial you used to make diapers back in 2008 was a geocities page, so no longer existing, and I was wondering if you knew where else this information might be hiding. I’d like to give it a shot myself :0)
FrugalBabe says
Maren,
Glad you found my blog! Hopefully you’ve been able to figure out some alternatives to sleepwear with flame retardants. We’ve settled on several pairs of hand-me-down and thrift store pajama sets that don’t contain flame retardants, and we layer them with socks and sweatshirts when the weather gets cold. It worked great last winter, and we’re all set for this winter with some larger sizes.
Sorry the diaper tutorial is no longer there. Check out this site for some great tutorials and tons of ideas: http://www.cheekydiapers.com/Free-Cloth-Diaper-Sewing-Patterns.html Good luck, and have fun! Our son isn’t wearing diapers during the day anymore, but at night he still wears the diapers I made for him two years ago (I added extender tabs to all of them when he was less than a year old, and those made them expandable enough that they still fit him at nearly 2.5 years). Those diapers have held up great, and they were all made from old t-shirts, sweatshirts, baby blankets, and various random clothing that I found. The materials cost next to nothing, making the diapers was fun, and they diapered our son for his entire baby/toddler-hood. Definitely a winner!
Nicole says
Preach it, sister!
We did not repaint anything. We did not buy matching anything. I don’t think he’s been scarred for life.