Our baby is five weeks old today, and we’ve settled into a pretty happy little existence with him at the center of it all. Can’t really remember what life was like before we had him, and that’s just fine. In the last five weeks, we’ve spent very little additional money compared with what we were spending before we had him. We did buy an organic crib mattress for him (he’s still sleeping in our bed, but someday he’ll be using it, I’m sure…) and our health insurance premiums went up by about $160/month now that we added him to the policy. But that’s about it. We haven’t bought any toys or clothes or baby gadgets. I went to Babies R Us one day with a friend who wanted to go looking for clothes for her own kids. I did end up buying a nursing bra there, so I suppose that’s another $15 that I have to count, since I probably would not have been buying an oh-so-sexy nursing bra without having a baby. We’ve spent a ton of time with our baby, holding him and snuggling him and taking him for walks all over town in the sling. But we haven’t spent a lot of money.
One decision that always gets mentioned whenever frugal bloggers talk about the “cost of a baby” is breastfeeding versus formula. Obviously breast feeding is the frugal choice, and I think most people also know it’s the best choice for the baby. I was 100% committed to breast feeding long before my baby was born, but the first couple weeks were pretty rough. In the beginning, breast feeding was so painful that I would cry the whole time he was nursing. I hadn’t expected that – people talk about how painful birth is, but very few people mentioned anything about nursing being painful. But I was determined. If there are moms who breastfeed adopted babies, there was no way I wasn’t going to breastfeed. I talked with my midwife, who verified that he was latched on properly and doing everything he was supposed to be doing. So I persevered. And sure enough, by the time my son was two weeks old, I noticed that I wasn’t wincing anymore when he started to nurse. And pretty soon it became the wonderful experience that people talk about. I love feeding my baby – it’s one of the highlights of my day (and night). It makes me sad to think that there may be other moms out there who experience the same thing and give up – believe me, it does get so much better!
So what does this have to do with personal finance? Well, for one thing, it’s a whole lot cheaper than formula would be, and the boost to his immune system will mean fewer sick baby days, which is good all around. But in the bigger picture, I’m reminded of the words of Yoda – “do, or do not, there is no ‘try’.” My experience with breastfeeding kinda sucked in the beginning (pun intended), but because I was absolutely determined to make it work, I kept at it. Same thing with paying off our debts after we got our business going, and with living below our means ever since. If you’re trying to do something, especially if it turns out to be difficult, there’s a good chance you won’t succeed. But if you’re absolutely going to do something no matter what, you’re a whole lot more likely to succeed.
Rachel says
I remember to those first couple weeks with both of my children, crying each time they wanted to eat. I was in such pain and discomfort and I even developed mastitis with my second one. However, with much perserverance, everything settled down and became a wonderful experience. I nurse my first until she weaned herself at 14 mos and I am still nursing my 7 month old. You are doing a good thing for your little one. Congratulations on your sweet boy!
FrugalBabe says
Thanks Rachel and Kelly! It’s funny… now when I talk with other women about how much breastfeeding hurt in the beginning, they nod and agree that they had a tough time too. But I hadn’t heard anyone talk about it before I had my baby! Maybe they just didn’t want to freak me out :)
Kelly from My Small Cents says
Very nicely said! Even with my third breastfeeding hurt a lot in the beginning. And then one day, it just didn’t, and became the wonderful experience that you’re talking about instead.
ScrapperMom says
I think that is a great point. It is hard at first, but there is nothing like determination. If you are not committed you will give up. The best advice I got prior to my baby being born was, don’t give up until at least 4 weeks and get all the help you can in the beginning. It makes a huge difference. And like all things that are worthwhile, it’s tough work at first and then it becomes second nature. (Just like saving and keeping a budget!)
April says
Ugh. I so didn’t want to know this! I mean, it’s good to know for “one day,” but not something I’m looking forward to. I had never heard about it being painful.
scantee says
I hear ya on this one. Breastfeeding my now seven month old was excruciatingly painful the first two months.To address the problem, I saw different lactation consultants and read, read, read, everything available and it just didn’t get better, and I despaired it never would. It was only my absolute determination that kept me going through that period. I’m glad I did, because now it’s so easy and wonderful.
I try to warn my friends who are trying for kids about how difficult breastfeeding is without turning them off to the idea altogether. My experience made me understand why so many women quit. If you don’t have a good support system, the challenges of breastfeeding seem completely overwhelming.
Alissa says
Hi there,
I need to comment on this! For both of my kids, it seemed like 2 weeks was the magic time when breastfeeding stopped hurting. Think about it – our nipples are very sensitive areas! So it takes time for a callous to build up to the point where it doesn’t hurt any more. I had several people ask me if I was keeping formula on hand “just in case”. Just in case of what?? I was breastfeeding, and that was all there was to it. Formula was not an option. I totally agree with you, that to “try” basically means you’ve already planned to fail. If you make a commitment to DO something, you will succeed. This applies to everything in life! I am still nursing my 18-month old, and loving it. :) I love knowing that I am giving him the nourishment he needs to make him as healthy as he can be. So yes, it hurts. But like giving birth, the rewards are immeasurable.