Frugal Babe

A rich life without a lot of money

  • Home
  • About me

Creating A Life That Needs No Escape

June 2, 2010 By Frugal Babe

Now that the summer vacation season is underway, I’ve been pondering the idea of vacations.  My husband and I have been self employed for years now, so technically we can go on vacation whenever we want.  We do have to continue to work while we’re away, but our job can be done from anywhere with a laptop and internet connection.

Once our son is old enough to appreciate and enjoy trips, we’ll start going on them again.  But for now, they’re on hold.  But as much as I enjoy traveling to new places, I am not sitting here thinking about all the places I’d like to visit five years from now.  Instead, we’re actively working to create a life from which we don’t need or want to get away.  I think that for a lot of people, vacations are as much about getting away from normal life as they are about seeing new places.  Most people get two or three weeks of vacation time each year.  Do you really want to have two or three great weeks per year, during which you try to get away from whatever it is you do with your time the other 49 or 50 weeks?  I would rather have 52 great weeks and no desire to escape from my life.  If we get the urge to see some new, exciting place once our son is a little older, that would be great.  But I don’t ever want vacation to feel like escape, or to be something that I look forward to with so much anticipation that I forget to appreciate all the regular life days that lead up to it.

Some people are in situations (for example, being a full-time caregiver to a person with Alzheimer’s) that probably require some form of regular “escape” no matter how they tweak their life to make it as enjoyable as possible.  But for many of us, the things we’re trying to escape from are self-imposed stresses.  Tons of extra-curricular activities for our kids is one example.  Kids do not need to be enrolled in six different kinds of lessons throughout their entire childhood in order to grow up to be good, talented people.  Another example is the vehicles we drive.  We don’t need to be spending a good chunk of our income each year (which translates into a good chunk of our time) buying, insuring, and maintaining cars.  Old, paid-for cars are great, and so are bicycles.

The money we earn can be used for so many things, but most of us are using it to pay for houses, cars, stuff to fill up the houses, and two weeks of vacation each year to escape from our lives.  It doesn’t have to be this way.  What if we started to really focus on how we can create a life that we never want to leave?  Travel could still be a part of that life (if that’s what makes you happy) but it could be for the adventure rather than as an escape.

My husband and I have made the happy discovery that we both love working in the garden, with our son and our dog playing in the yard nearby.  We both love digging in the dirt, tending our little plants, adding beautiful flowers and trees to our little oasis, and seeing new sprouts and buds each day.  We’ve been harvesting radishes now for a week or so, and the kale and chard are exploding.  We will have zucchini ready next week, and we’ve been eating spinach salads every day lately.  Our dream is becoming a reality, and it feels amazing.  It took a lot of effort to get here.  We had to make some major changes – realizing that what we really wanted (a huge garden) was not compatible with where we were living, and then going through the process of selling our house and buying another one.  Our 3/4 acre yard was a blank (but weedy!) canvas when we first saw it a year ago, and now it has an orchard, a berry patch, and 27 vegetable beds.  It also has ten new flowering trees (each about a foot tall), lots of new evergreens (also about a foot tall), some new shade trees, and lots of flowering perennials that we found for free on the sidewalk down the street last fall.

But although it has taken much effort to get to this point, we have enjoyed every minute of that effort.  We have found something that we both love doing, and it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like we’re on vacation every day.  Yes, we still have to work to keep our business running, but we get to do that from our own home, and hang out with our son at the same time.  And every afternoon/evening, we get to go out and play in the yard.

What it takes to feel like you’re on vacation every day is obviously going to be different from one person to the next.  But the important part is to figure out what it means for you.  And what it doesn’t mean.  And then take a close look to see if what you’re spending your time and money on is really what matters to you.  If it isn’t, start making changes.  It’s that simple, but putting it into practice isn’t easy.  Really, major changes rarely are, because we are creatures of inertia.  It’s easier to stay in a rut, even if that rut isn’t making us happy.  But the effort required to get out of our ruts is truly worth it.

I’ll leave you with some pictures from around our yard this morning.  This is our potato bed, freshly covered with a new layer of compost and hay:

100_8376

And here is our son’s sandbox, which he loves.  We ended up lining the hole with weed blocking fabric to create a barrier between the clay and the sand, and our little guy has been having a blast out there.

100_8378

And some beautiful surprise irises that popped up this spring:

100_8377

Happy Wednesday!  Enjoy pondering what you can do to start creating a life from which you never want to escape.

Filed Under: garden, just my life, lessons learned 28 Comments

Comments

  1. Money Obedience says

    June 2, 2010 at 10:08 am

    This is a very well written and balanced post. I also believe that living a good and enjoyable life is the most important thing. If you always need to get away from it, something is wrong. Also, why do you want to deprive yourself for 20 or 30 years to get away from everything, i.e. retire early? This is definitely not one of my goals.

    Reply
  2. AD says

    June 2, 2010 at 10:20 am

    Travel, for me, isn’t about escaping my life. I love being immersed in a new culture, different from my own. I love traveling somewhere with a long history, trying foods I’ve never heard of that aren’t even available in the US (like a green smoothie with chaya!) and talking to locals. I love seeing how they live their lives (and often it changes how I live mine). I feel like it’s an exploration of sorts, and something I can’t get from a book.

    I’m not unhappy with my life. In fact, I’m close to ditching the day job and doing something I love, and I’m so excited about that. We’re about to build our dream home, a place I’ll love waking up in every day. But despite all that, I still want to explore the world. It’s just too cool, and the people too interesting, to not see more of it. :)

    Reply
  3. FrugalBabe says

    June 2, 2010 at 10:34 am

    AD,
    I agree, and travel for me has always been about adventure rather than escape (although I’ll admit that weekends often used to seem like escape when I had a job I hated). I spent two years in Africa with the Peace Corps, and have traveled in several countries and all over the US. Once our son is old enough to enjoy travel, we’ll definitely want to show him new places. But we want to make sure that we’re enjoying all of our days, right here and now, and that’s what we’re focusing on right now.
    All the best with ditching the day job and building your house – I hope it goes great for you!

    Reply
  4. Kelly says

    June 2, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    I would love to see more pictures of your backyard gardens! I think this is a very good post. I have a question…since you spend so much time in the backyard, do you have a problem with mosquitos? If so, do you have a natural repellent that works. We love spending time in our backyard, but by evening we start to have issues with mosquitoes, and it sadly drives us indoors. I have tried some Burts Bees and California Baby, but they just don’t seem to work. Since I know you try to be as natural as possible, I thought maybe you would have some solutions.
    Of course, maybe you are lucky enough to live in a part of the country that doesn’t have mosquitoes :)

    Reply
  5. Kaytee says

    June 2, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    Apparently, I’m not the only one who wants to see pictures of your garden. I happened to be strolling through my little plot this evening only to notice that the local bunnies nibbled my beans, corn and all my kale plants. Two weeks ago they went after the sweet peas. Humph! Fortunately, they’ve left my pickling cucumber plants alone.

    Interesting post, I must say. I’ve in a state where most people come to vacation, and I love it. It is hard to make a living up here though. I’m still working on the whole life/work balance thing. It’s the type of career that does a lot of good, but it’s definitely more than 40 hours a week. That being said, I love being home. Even though my home is an apartment, it’s still a home.

    Kelly – I am a HUGE fan of ‘That Bug Stuff’ from Woodsong Herbals in Vermont. We have mosquitoes, ticks and black flies here. It does a great job of keeping the bugs away AND there is no citronella involved. It also comes in a variety of forms salves, lotions, oils, etc.

    Reply
  6. Zengirl @ Heart and Mind says

    June 3, 2010 at 4:56 am

    This post resonated with me, as I too believe that if we create a mindful ,soul filling and sustainable life, we will not be needing an escape from it. I am going to link it your in my blog! hope it is okay.

    Reply
  7. Angela Artemis says

    June 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Hi FG,
    What a great post.

    It’s just what I needed to hear at this time. I just posted an article yesterday on Mystic Musings that was in a similar vein.
    I’m downsized from a big house in order to free myself from my 9 to 5 hell! Although I will miss my garden come to think of it.

    I plan to also make a living on my own as well.

    Thank you for inspiring me today.

    Reply
  8. autumnesf says

    June 4, 2010 at 4:52 am

    For us vacation is all about going to see family. Biggest drawback of being a military family. The good thing is that it usually means there are no hotel and limited food expenses involved. Still, someday I’d like to take ONE vacation that was just about escape. Not escape from my life…just something so different that it would be amazing.

    Reply
  9. Claire - Gratitude Connection says

    June 4, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful pictures, and inspiring story. I am so grateful that I don’t want to ever escape my life. I wonder if that’s the lesson I’m supposed to be learning :)

    Reply
  10. julie says

    June 6, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    oh goodness yes-we’re care-givers to my husband’s father.He’s disabled due to a work injury 20+yrs ago and doesn’t believe he’s not the same person he was back before the injury.So there is stress aplenty. The husband and I haven’t had a real vacation since our marriage/honeymoon almost 10yrs ago and I’m about at a breaking point.I told the hubby he had to make avacation happen within the coming year or deal with it if the kiddo and I go on a vacation without him LOL.seriously…..love the idea of creating a life that is so comfortable for you that you don’t need an escape from-that’s something we should all strive for.

    Reply
  11. Bankruptcy Ben says

    June 6, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    Your vege garden is coming along amazingly. Mine not so much I was too liberal with the mulch and it’s stopping seedlings from poping up.

    I don’t really feel like vacationing personally but my partner does. It’s really difficult to negotiate because holidays are soooo expensive. I just need for her to destress but she almost seeks it out.

    Reply
  12. Blind Horse says

    June 7, 2010 at 6:19 am

    Hello, I found you via get rich slowly, and what a great post to have landed on! I too have not had an “escape” vacation in years, actually ever, and have never wanted one. I never thought of it in terms of building a life I don’t want to leave, though, so thank you very much for that fresh perspective, you’re right on!

    I love the occasional weekend getaway to visit friends or family, but when I take a week at a time I generally spend it puttering around the house and yard or seeing local sights that I don’t ordinarily take the time to see.

    Reply
  13. Everyday Tips says

    June 7, 2010 at 7:10 am

    Great post!

    Can I take a vacation at your house? It sounds wonderful.

    I love my vacations! However, I do agree that my vacations have taken on new meaning as our kids have gotten older. When they were younger, we went on vacation more because we were ‘supposed to’ in a sense. But young kids like their routine and their home and it can be tough on them to travel. (Have you ever seen all the unhappy toddlers at Disney? Definitely not the happiest place one earth for everyone!)

    Now though, we are aggressively saving money for vacations, but that is because we want to share new experiences with our kids. We have a wonderful time traveling together, and we all generally enjoy the same things, so there really isn’t any fighting.

    I have only have one vacation in my life where I needed to truly get away. However, that was an isolated time in my life where I had just suffered a loss, and that vacation may have been the best and most important vacation of my life. I do agree though that on the whole, if you can make your home a happy and pleasant place, the ‘need’ for vacation is not nearly as bad, and a nice, welcoming home a goal worthy of striving for.

    Reply
  14. Kelsey says

    June 7, 2010 at 9:23 am

    What a great post. I never really thought of vacation time that way, but you’re totally right. I always hate how you’re expected to slough through life, waiting for “things to get better”. I applaud you for taking the action to make your life the best it can be. I look forward to reading more of your posts!

    Reply
  15. Money Reasons says

    June 7, 2010 at 10:21 am

    I like your idea for a sand box! I’d like to suggest a dirt mound (I played in it for hours as a child)! In the dirt, I made tunnels and dug trenches that served as roads.

    For me it was such a great and unusual memory that when I build a playset with an eagles nest for me son, I left the area underneath as dirt. Now he does what I did, and then some. He creates the same things I did as a boy, but also sometimes features a pretend pond!

    The entire neighborhood of kids his age (range of 6 thru 11) come over and play in it, ironically leaving the sandbox alone… lol…

    Reply
  16. Tracy says

    June 7, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    Great post, FB!

    Reply
  17. FrugalBabe says

    June 7, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    Kelly and Kaytee, Sorry it took me so long to get back to you about the bugs. We do have mosquitoes here, unfortunately. My solution is to wear long sleeves, jeans, and thick socks when I’m outside in the evenings. I’ve been doing it for a couple weeks now, and have only had one bite, on my finger. Long sleeves is also my sunscreen solution, so I’m pretty covered up anytime I’m going to be outside for a long time. In the house, I’m all about bare feet and tank tops, but I keep a lightweight hoodie by the back door and I put it on when I’m going out.
    We put ground up cedar chips on our lawn, which is supposed to ward off mosquitoes. We also have tiki torches that burn cedar/citronella oil, and they seem to do a decent job. We have a bug zapper light that we hang outside in the evenings, and then we bring it inside and hang it in the kitchen at night just in case any mosquitoes make their way indoors.
    Kaytee, thanks for the recommendation for “that bug stuff”. We’ll have to add that to our mosquito arsenal.

    Reply
  18. Victoria Drake says

    June 8, 2010 at 5:28 am

    I just discovered your blog. I love your blog design. It is so pretty and friendly. I, like you, am self-employed and I’ve decided to take it on the road. It’s an opportunity I can’t pass up. It’s so nice to combine vacation and work. What a luxury. I’ll be going to Norfork Lake in the Ozarks of Arkansas for four months this year. I’ve booked a resort there and I couldn’t be more excited. As a matter of fact, my most recent blog post has photos of it.

    Reply
  19. Charlotte K says

    June 8, 2010 at 6:15 am

    I feel as if I found your blog (yesterday) just at the right time. It really resonates, this piece. I’ve recently begun to try to think of my house which is a lovely old shabby place on a quiet tree-lined streed in a near suburb of Boston, as my “country place” on the weekends. Instead of rushing around and doing errands all weekend I’m trying to pace myself better during the week and then relax and enjoy life in the “country” on the weekends. It’s a game of course, but it’s working. I think you’re talking a bit about this…

    Reply
  20. Rod Yates says

    September 20, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    Consider getting a box of bees. Here is a situation in nature that renews itself continually, and shows that creatures can be single minded about a sense of “sufficiency”. Keeping bees does require some insight, but they can be so reassuring at the end of a stressful day.
    Its a pleasure that we might not have for very long, so try it while you can. When you taste real honey, or smell real wax, there is just nothing else like it, and in some ways, its conceptually a little holiday from mundane life.

    Reply
  21. Rod Yates says

    September 20, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    I just realized that most of you people are Americans, and may not have access to the best info about how to get started with bees. I should have put in my email in case anyone wants to ask questions. After 50 years, I have learnt a lot from bees. Even this week, I have concluded they know about measuring barometric pressure, because they avoid swarming when there is going to be a big storm! ( and they are mostly female, as you know). rodyates@australianhoney.com.au Sydney, Aust.
    Its possible some of my notes are still on Wiki how.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Great eBooks:

Recent Comments

  • Kay on Still Here, Still Frugal!
  • BigMama on Still Here, Still Frugal!
  • Shel on Still Here, Still Frugal!
  • Frugal Babe on Achieving our goals, thanks to long-term frugality
  • Jean Lowe on Achieving our goals, thanks to long-term frugality
Shop for Fashion Dresses on DHgate

Organifi coupon

Recent Posts

  • Still Here, Still Frugal!
  • Goodbye, mortgage!
  • Achieving our goals, thanks to long-term frugality
  • Still here!
  • An update from our frugal corner of the world

Blogroll

  • Brave New Life
  • Budgets Are Sexy
  • Early Retirement Extreme
  • Green Baby Guide
  • Kristen’s Raw
  • Mr. Money Mustache
  • Nature Moms Blog
  • No Impact Man
  • Penniless Parenting
  • Personal Budgeting
  • Pleasantly Poor
  • Sense To Save
  • Simple Mom
  • Stop Buying Crap
  • Surveybag
  • The Good Human
  • The Thrifty Chicks
  • Tight Fisted Miser
  • Ultimate Money Blog


Limural Men's Electric Wet & Dry Shaver w/ Extra Replacement Blade $19.99

Genofo Open-Ear Bluetooth Bone Conduction Sports Headphones $19.79

  • See Store Coupons
    • Online Coupons
    • Apple Coupons
    • Boost Mobile Promo
    • HP Coupon Code
    • Newegg Promo Code
    • Office Depot Coupon
    • Target Coupons
    • Tire Rack Coupons
    • TurboTax Coupons
    • Verizon Promo Codes
    • Virgin Mobile Promo
    • Vistaprint Coupons
  • See Category Deals
    • Camera Deals
    • GPS Deals
    • iPhone Deals
    • iPod Touch Deals
    • Laptop Deals
    • LED TV Deals
    • Mobile Phone Deals
    • SSD Deals
    • Tablet Deals
fd0ba17a1af66b5c2a74c337cb334fff-332