I thought of something else that I meant to include in the post I wrote about baby showers and gift registries. Retailers would like us to believe that it takes a whole room full of stuff in order to properly take care of a baby. Just take a trip through a Babies R Us store and you’ll see what I mean.
My siblings and I were raised on a farm, and money was scarce. We had the basics – cloth diapers, yard sale clothes and stuff my mother knitted for us, toys my father made, a second hand crib and stroller, and for the younger ones, a car seat (when I was a baby, people were still holding infants on their laps in cars). The two years I spent in Africa in the Peace Corps ingrained even more deeply in me the knowledge that we don’t actually need most of the stuff we think we do. In the village where I lived, babies needed nothing more than a large cloth wrap that held them against their mother’s back or chest all day, and breast milk. Smaller cloth wraps were used as diapers, and that was about it. There were no infant swings, no changing tables, no coordinating infant decor, no vibrating chairs.
We do not need to fill a whole room with stuff in order to take care of an infant. And for almost everything that we want for our babies, there’s no need for it to be new. Gift registries perpetuate the myth that we need all this stuff in order to have a baby, and I don’t want to have any part of this. I’m determined to raise a baby without losing my sense of wants versus needs. And to be honest, I don’t even want most of the stuff that is advertised for babies. It looks like more clutter to clean up.
Mrs. Micah says
Very true. I haven’t been to Africa, but I lived with a girl who’d taken care of a particular baby over there and she said the wrap thing was all the baby really needed.
I learned from visiting friends that there’s a little, cheap, folding mat which is perfect for changing. The best part is that it’s portable (and the baby can’t roll off). Seemed to me like the best idea ever!
April says
I just wonder where people put all the “stuff.” Between playpens and Johnny jumper thingys and baby “gyms”…where do you store it all?
What do you say if someone wants to throw you a shower, such as friends or coworkers?
Michelle MacPhearson says
AWESOME POST!!! I couldn’t agree with you more (and this has been a post topic brewing in my mind for a while too). Babies don’t cost much, unless you buy into all the *stuff* that’s advertised to parents. I’ll have to put together my big baby rant now!
-Michelle
Kelly says
I totally agree with you on the whole ‘stuff’ issue. We don’t have much either, basically what you listed. I do have a stroller though, for when the babies get big, and heavy to carry.
When people ask what they can get you for the baby, answer ‘Food’! The best gifts I’ve gotten (and given) are dinners. It’s heaven not to have to cook!
FrugalBabe says
As far as my friends, family, or coworkers throwing me a shower… My closest friends and family know how I feel about this, and wouldn’t do it. Plus, my two closest girlfriends have moved recently, one is about a three hour drive from here, and then other is about a three hour flight.
Coworkers could be a different story. My department at the library has 8 women in it; all of us are close and we tend to get each other birthday and holiday gifts. It’s always small stuff, under $10, or homemade treats. I would not be surprised if someone were to bake a cake and everyone showed up with a little gift. And that would be fine. I know that all the gifts would be small and inexpensive, and would be something that each person picked out or made (lots of knitters in the group) on her own – not stuff that was on a shopping list I created.
Tina says
If only we could convince our family and friends of this. My mother and my mother-in-law compete to see who gives the best gifts. They are usually tacky, expensive, unnecessary stuff that we will never use. They expect to see it when they visit, whether it’s clothing, furniture, some fancy bottle, etc. And act like we’ve insulted them if we have returned/exchanged it. So we end up trying to remember who gave what and have it ready. It’s so useless…
Ashley S. says
Your library coworkers sound like all you would need for a great shower. My shower was a nightmare affair and besides the clothing, I don’t thik I kept anything. Living in South Africa and working in an orphanage really opened my eyes as well.
And having knitters in the group would be fantastic if they wanted to make you some wool pants or soakers to go over your very frugal diapers.
Katie says
I completely agree–having had several friends have babies recently, I’ve seen firsthand the amount of needless stuff that babies now get. It’s ridiculous. My husband and I are trying for our first and, just for planning purposes, I tried a “what will the first year cost?” calculator on parents.com. Even with frugal answers, the result was something like $9,000. Ridiculous.