Frugal Babe

A rich life without a lot of money

  • Home
  • About me

Not This Girl’s Best Friend…

April 14, 2007 By Frugal Babe

We’re selling my engagement ring tomorrow. I have to work, but my husband is going to drive to the Shane Company and meet a couple who are buying it from us. He’ll walk away with $1150, and they’ll get the ring. We’re both happy to be selling it, although when we posted it on Craig’s List earlier this week, we noticed that almost all the rings for sale were because of a broken engagement or a divorce. There were very few happy stories.

We bought the ring 4 years ago, for $2000. At the time, we knew that we were “supposed” to get a diamond, and we had the money left over after we paid the down payment on our house. So we were thrilled to go to the Shane Company and pick out a ring. I still think it’s one of the prettiest rings I’ve ever seen. That ring was about the only traditional thing about our wedding. Over the last few years, we’ve talked about how silly we were to spend $2000 on a piece of jewelery. And yes, I know some people spend ten times that – don’t even get me started on how absurd I think that is. We both felt that we could have spent the money on much better things – things that would actually make a difference in our lives and future. Diamonds are only valuable because the people at De Beers have convinced us that only a diamond can signify true love, and that spending thousands of dollars for a rock is an essential part of getting engaged. And yet diamonds don’t make marriages stronger. Just look on Craig’s List under engagement rings and see how much money some people spent on rings that they are selling because the relationship has fallen apart. And there’s also the complete exploitation of workers in southern Africa who mine diamonds… trust me, none of them will ever be able to afford a diamond ring.

So a couple years ago, we tossed around the idea of selling the ring. We talked about it every now and again, but never did anything about it. Then last weekend, during a ten mile run with our dog, I decided that I was ready to sell it. The notion that the ring signifies our love or has any meaning in our relationship is ridiculous. I do not know any couple with a stronger partnership than we have. We are each other’s best friend, we share the same hopes and goals and ideology. After six years, we still spend every evening and weekend together. We take very good care of each other, and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. Of that I am as certain as I am that the earth is round. A diamond (or lack of one) has nothing to do with our marriage.

So now we’re going to do what we wish we had done four years ago – we’re buying a cubic zirconia. This is not as easy as you would think – most cz rings are super cheap, the sort that turn fingers green. But we found a company that sells high quality synthetic diamonds, set in real gold rings. I found a ring I love, and it’s $200. That’s more like it. If no one can tell without lab testing whether a diamond is real or not, why would I care which one is on my finger?

So when all is said and done, we’ll have $950 left over, which we’ll split between our HSA and a new Roth IRA that I’m setting up next week. We both think that’s a much better use of the money than having it sitting on my finger.

Filed Under: lessons learned, Our stuff 38 Comments

Comments

  1. ~Dawn says

    April 15, 2007 at 12:27 am

    Wow, That is a great story. So cool you can part with something like that and find completeness in something that many other would feel ‘isn’t the same thing’
    Good for you!

    Reply
  2. FrugalBabe says

    April 15, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    Thank Dawn!

    Reply
  3. TBH says

    April 16, 2007 at 12:54 am

    My favorite thing about this story is that you are not considering that the decision was made irrevocably. You’re simply making the decision over again in a different way now that your priorities have gotten clearer. Good move!

    Reply
  4. tanyetta says

    April 18, 2007 at 5:08 am

    perfect :) :) My hunny said it took him a long time to get my ring. He said he would NOT leave the arcade without it and it almost cost him the ENTIRE roll of quarters. LOL :)

    I loved this post. So glad to hear you’re finding better ways to invest your cash. How cool is that :)

    Reply
  5. KMull says

    April 18, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    Wow. Great story. When I gave my wife her ring, it was as a show of dedication. It was a lot of money at the time, but not as much now. I can’t imagine her finger without it!

    Reply
  6. FrugalBabe says

    April 18, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    Hey mapgirl, thanks for the kudos. I did think about just not having anything shiny at all, but I always liked how my ring looked… I wasn’t sure if it was hypocritical to sell the diamond and then turn around and buy something else that looked like a diamond, but then I decided that I didn’t care :) I love what the new ring looks like, and the money from the old one is in a Roth IRA right now, so I’m a happy camper.

    Reply
  7. Bianca Bizarro says

    April 18, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    What a great idea! In my first marriage, even though I was young, I knew it was dumb to spend all that money on a diamond, so I bought a sapphire and got a lot of compliments on it. Basil and I have been together almost 10 years, and have decided that since I have kids that are applying for financial aid for college (single mom = more aid), we’ll hold off a few more years before getting married. But when we do, you can be sure we’ll be spending the ring money on a fantastic honeymoon and not a diamond.

    Reply
  8. Debt Hater says

    April 18, 2007 at 5:11 pm

    My fiance and I skipped the engagaement ring altogether. We’re planning our wedding for this fall and I am ringless. It’s funny how people immediately glance down at your finger when you tell them you’re getting married. The puzzled looks on their faces at my nakes hand are even funnier. I just couldn’t ask my guy to spend all that money on a ring when there was so much else we needed and I wanted.

    Reply
    • Leah says

      January 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

      I just got married last week, and my husband and I paid $70 total for our two rings.  We got them online at etsy, and they’re just simple sterling silver bands with a hammered pattern to them.  I’ve already gotten lots of compliments on how unique the bands are.  We are really glad we didn’t break the bank.  For “engagement” (and for signing our legal paperwork, which we did a few months ago), we have matching leather bracelets that we got for $15 total at Pike Place Market.  So there’s definitely ways to follow “tradition” without spending a fortune.

      Reply
  9. James says

    April 18, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    I agree with you 100%. You are smarter than the average bear to have reached these conclusions. I almost wish I could have married you.

    I hate to get technical with you, but the earth isn’t round. It has a huge equatorial bulge.

    Reply
  10. Saving Simply says

    April 19, 2007 at 1:15 am

    Turns out, my wedding band cost more than my wife’s… only because I have a bigger ring finger than she does!

    (We ended up eloping)

    Reply
  11. Terri says

    April 20, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    I didn’t have a ring. Not once in the 25+ years we’ve been married have we even thought of getting one.

    Reply
  12. Christine says

    April 22, 2007 at 11:14 am

    Great story! I’m somewhat inclined to lose things so my husband & I discuss CZs when I got married. Didn’t happen because it turned out he (& each of his brothers) had inherited a diamond. Only warning I got was that the corners on the CZ wear a little more than than real diamonds – wouldn’t have mattered to me since most of the time mine seems to be covered in a film of dirt from the garden.

    Reply
  13. DJC says

    April 25, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    What company did you find that sells nice CZ rings?

    Reply
  14. FrugalBabe says

    April 25, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Diamond Nexus Labs is the name of the company. You can check them out at DiamondNexusLabs.com and see what you think. My ring hasn’t arrived yet – I’ll post about it when it does. But I have high hopes that it will be good :)

    Reply
  15. Pete Goode says

    May 2, 2007 at 8:46 am

    you wouldn’t happen to be dave ramsey listeners? would you?

    Reply
  16. Frugal Trenches says

    July 6, 2008 at 7:18 am

    Well done you. Having read a lot about the diamond industry I’d rather have fake anyday!

    Reply
  17. Teaspoon says

    August 20, 2008 at 9:35 am

    I’m impressed that you and your husband decided to do this. Good for you! When my hubby and I got engaged, we didn’t do the engagement ring thing, because it just seemed like such a waste of money. (Besides, I don’t really like the whole engagement ring tradition anyway…the woman wears a ring signaling that she belongs to her fiance, but the man is still free and clear until the wedding bands show up). For our wedding bands, we ordered recycled gold bands from the wonderful, socially- and eco-conscious company Green Karat. They’re perfect.

    Reply
  18. Saver Queen says

    November 4, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Completely agree. I’ve always said that I would prefer a pretty stone other than a diamond. I have a friend who is an aid worker – used to work in Sierra Leone and is now working in other parts of West Africa. His stories more than convinced me that diamonds are not worth the blood of other people. Diamonds funded the terrible war in Sierra Leone and even now it is hard to ensure that you are not buying blood diamonds. Even “polar bear diamonds” (mined in Canada) are not totally ethical becuase of land disputes with our Aboriginal peoples. But even beyond that point, why should something as arbitrary as a stone be a necessary symbol of love? I’m glad you are getting something you are more comfortable with. Btw – I got a good quality CZ on a necklace, on sale at the Bay. It has even fooled the “diamond people” at Peoples Jewellers.

    Reply
  19. Myrtle Beach Condo says

    September 1, 2010 at 4:52 am

    This post is really very nice as it is well written and has provided many useful particulars and information about the topic. I am waiting for more such posts made by you in future!

    Reply
  20. Christa the BabbyMama says

    November 12, 2011 at 11:00 am

    Love it! I’d rather have a good start toward retirement than bling. Actually, I’m a fan of lab created bling, but cz will do in a pinch!

    Reply
  21. Kitty says

    April 11, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Smart couple…that you are. Although I am a childless widow, I sold my engagement ring and was surprised how much it was worth at auction. It was a beautiful ring, but I get a warmer feeling from the fact that I will have a nice nest egg for my upcoming retirement.

    I have a couple more lovely pieces that will probably go the same way.

    Engagement rings are nice, but since they are expected to be given, they just don’t feel special to me any more. My grandmother had an engagement cameo brooch and never wore a wedding ring.

    I noticed online yesterday that they are making beautiful CZ engagement rings (and matching sets) mounted in stainless steel. Very nice.

    I love being frugal!!!!!!

    Reply
    • Frugal Babe says

      April 11, 2012 at 8:30 pm

      Thanks Kitty!  I’m glad your jewelry will be providing you with financial security. I’d say that’s better use of it than having it sit in a jewelry box.  I love the idea of CZ rings in stainless steel settings – sounds practical and beautiful.
      I love being frugal too! :)

      Reply
  22. Dea says

    June 15, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    I’m so glad to hear that other people have done this! I’ve been secretly plotting the sale of  my wedding set for a few months as well, it’s amazing what a few years of marriage and having a child, and simplifying can do :) Can you please tell me how you went about selling it? Was it through craigslist or online?

    Reply
    • Frugal Babe says

      June 15, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      I sold my ring on Craigslist, but I’m sure there are lots of ways of going about it.  Mine was relatively low-end to begin with (in the $2000 – $2500 range, not the 10k+ range), so Craigslist seemed fine.  For a higher-priced ring, there might be better options.  Good luck!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Great eBooks:

Recent Comments

  • Chris on Still Here, Still Frugal!
  • Cassie on Still Here, Still Frugal!
  • James High on $20 Window Well Makeover
  • Kay on Still Here, Still Frugal!
  • BigMama on Still Here, Still Frugal!
Shop for Fashion Dresses on DHgate

Organifi coupon

Recent Posts

  • Still Here, Still Frugal!
  • Goodbye, mortgage!
  • Achieving our goals, thanks to long-term frugality
  • Still here!
  • An update from our frugal corner of the world

Blogroll

  • Brave New Life
  • Budgets Are Sexy
  • Early Retirement Extreme
  • Green Baby Guide
  • Kristen’s Raw
  • Mr. Money Mustache
  • Nature Moms Blog
  • No Impact Man
  • Penniless Parenting
  • Personal Budgeting
  • Pleasantly Poor
  • Sense To Save
  • Simple Mom
  • Stop Buying Crap
  • Surveybag
  • The Good Human
  • The Thrifty Chicks
  • Tight Fisted Miser
  • Ultimate Money Blog


  • See Store Coupons
    • All Coupons
    • Amazon Coupons
    • Apple Coupons
    • Best Buy Coupons
    • Buy.com Coupons
    • Dell Coupons
    • HP Coupons
    • Newegg Coupons
    • Office Depot Coupons
    • Staples Coupons
    • TigerDirect Coupons
  • See Category Deals
    • All Deals
    • Laptop Deals
    • Netbook Deals
    • Cell Phone Deals
    • TV Deals
    • GPS Deals
    • Camera Deals
    • iPod Deals
    • Tablet Deals
    • eReader Deals
    • iPhone Deals
d9533814e829a2b88025d710cb92afab-332