We’re selling my engagement ring tomorrow. I have to work, but my husband is going to drive to the Shane Company and meet a couple who are buying it from us. He’ll walk away with $1150, and they’ll get the ring. We’re both happy to be selling it, although when we posted it on Craig’s List earlier this week, we noticed that almost all the rings for sale were because of a broken engagement or a divorce. There were very few happy stories.
We bought the ring 4 years ago, for $2000. At the time, we knew that we were “supposed” to get a diamond, and we had the money left over after we paid the down payment on our house. So we were thrilled to go to the Shane Company and pick out a ring. I still think it’s one of the prettiest rings I’ve ever seen. That ring was about the only traditional thing about our wedding. Over the last few years, we’ve talked about how silly we were to spend $2000 on a piece of jewelery. And yes, I know some people spend ten times that – don’t even get me started on how absurd I think that is. We both felt that we could have spent the money on much better things – things that would actually make a difference in our lives and future. Diamonds are only valuable because the people at De Beers have convinced us that only a diamond can signify true love, and that spending thousands of dollars for a rock is an essential part of getting engaged. And yet diamonds don’t make marriages stronger. Just look on Craig’s List under engagement rings and see how much money some people spent on rings that they are selling because the relationship has fallen apart. And there’s also the complete exploitation of workers in southern Africa who mine diamonds… trust me, none of them will ever be able to afford a diamond ring.
So a couple years ago, we tossed around the idea of selling the ring. We talked about it every now and again, but never did anything about it. Then last weekend, during a ten mile run with our dog, I decided that I was ready to sell it. The notion that the ring signifies our love or has any meaning in our relationship is ridiculous. I do not know any couple with a stronger partnership than we have. We are each other’s best friend, we share the same hopes and goals and ideology. After six years, we still spend every evening and weekend together. We take very good care of each other, and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. Of that I am as certain as I am that the earth is round. A diamond (or lack of one) has nothing to do with our marriage.
So now we’re going to do what we wish we had done four years ago – we’re buying a cubic zirconia. This is not as easy as you would think – most cz rings are super cheap, the sort that turn fingers green. But we found a company that sells high quality synthetic diamonds, set in real gold rings. I found a ring I love, and it’s $200. That’s more like it. If no one can tell without lab testing whether a diamond is real or not, why would I care which one is on my finger?
So when all is said and done, we’ll have $950 left over, which we’ll split between our HSA and a new Roth IRA that I’m setting up next week. We both think that’s a much better use of the money than having it sitting on my finger.
~Dawn says
Wow, That is a great story. So cool you can part with something like that and find completeness in something that many other would feel ‘isn’t the same thing’
Good for you!
FrugalBabe says
Thank Dawn!
TBH says
My favorite thing about this story is that you are not considering that the decision was made irrevocably. You’re simply making the decision over again in a different way now that your priorities have gotten clearer. Good move!
tanyetta says
perfect :) :) My hunny said it took him a long time to get my ring. He said he would NOT leave the arcade without it and it almost cost him the ENTIRE roll of quarters. LOL :)
I loved this post. So glad to hear you’re finding better ways to invest your cash. How cool is that :)
KMull says
Wow. Great story. When I gave my wife her ring, it was as a show of dedication. It was a lot of money at the time, but not as much now. I can’t imagine her finger without it!
FrugalBabe says
Hey mapgirl, thanks for the kudos. I did think about just not having anything shiny at all, but I always liked how my ring looked… I wasn’t sure if it was hypocritical to sell the diamond and then turn around and buy something else that looked like a diamond, but then I decided that I didn’t care :) I love what the new ring looks like, and the money from the old one is in a Roth IRA right now, so I’m a happy camper.
Bianca Bizarro says
What a great idea! In my first marriage, even though I was young, I knew it was dumb to spend all that money on a diamond, so I bought a sapphire and got a lot of compliments on it. Basil and I have been together almost 10 years, and have decided that since I have kids that are applying for financial aid for college (single mom = more aid), we’ll hold off a few more years before getting married. But when we do, you can be sure we’ll be spending the ring money on a fantastic honeymoon and not a diamond.
Debt Hater says
My fiance and I skipped the engagaement ring altogether. We’re planning our wedding for this fall and I am ringless. It’s funny how people immediately glance down at your finger when you tell them you’re getting married. The puzzled looks on their faces at my nakes hand are even funnier. I just couldn’t ask my guy to spend all that money on a ring when there was so much else we needed and I wanted.
Leah says
I just got married last week, and my husband and I paid $70 total for our two rings. We got them online at etsy, and they’re just simple sterling silver bands with a hammered pattern to them. I’ve already gotten lots of compliments on how unique the bands are. We are really glad we didn’t break the bank. For “engagement” (and for signing our legal paperwork, which we did a few months ago), we have matching leather bracelets that we got for $15 total at Pike Place Market. So there’s definitely ways to follow “tradition” without spending a fortune.
James says
I agree with you 100%. You are smarter than the average bear to have reached these conclusions. I almost wish I could have married you.
I hate to get technical with you, but the earth isn’t round. It has a huge equatorial bulge.
Saving Simply says
Turns out, my wedding band cost more than my wife’s… only because I have a bigger ring finger than she does!
(We ended up eloping)
Terri says
I didn’t have a ring. Not once in the 25+ years we’ve been married have we even thought of getting one.
Christine says
Great story! I’m somewhat inclined to lose things so my husband & I discuss CZs when I got married. Didn’t happen because it turned out he (& each of his brothers) had inherited a diamond. Only warning I got was that the corners on the CZ wear a little more than than real diamonds – wouldn’t have mattered to me since most of the time mine seems to be covered in a film of dirt from the garden.
DJC says
What company did you find that sells nice CZ rings?
FrugalBabe says
Diamond Nexus Labs is the name of the company. You can check them out at DiamondNexusLabs.com and see what you think. My ring hasn’t arrived yet – I’ll post about it when it does. But I have high hopes that it will be good :)
Pete Goode says
you wouldn’t happen to be dave ramsey listeners? would you?
Frugal Trenches says
Well done you. Having read a lot about the diamond industry I’d rather have fake anyday!
Teaspoon says
I’m impressed that you and your husband decided to do this. Good for you! When my hubby and I got engaged, we didn’t do the engagement ring thing, because it just seemed like such a waste of money. (Besides, I don’t really like the whole engagement ring tradition anyway…the woman wears a ring signaling that she belongs to her fiance, but the man is still free and clear until the wedding bands show up). For our wedding bands, we ordered recycled gold bands from the wonderful, socially- and eco-conscious company Green Karat. They’re perfect.
Saver Queen says
Completely agree. I’ve always said that I would prefer a pretty stone other than a diamond. I have a friend who is an aid worker – used to work in Sierra Leone and is now working in other parts of West Africa. His stories more than convinced me that diamonds are not worth the blood of other people. Diamonds funded the terrible war in Sierra Leone and even now it is hard to ensure that you are not buying blood diamonds. Even “polar bear diamonds” (mined in Canada) are not totally ethical becuase of land disputes with our Aboriginal peoples. But even beyond that point, why should something as arbitrary as a stone be a necessary symbol of love? I’m glad you are getting something you are more comfortable with. Btw – I got a good quality CZ on a necklace, on sale at the Bay. It has even fooled the “diamond people” at Peoples Jewellers.
Myrtle Beach Condo says
This post is really very nice as it is well written and has provided many useful particulars and information about the topic. I am waiting for more such posts made by you in future!
Christa the BabbyMama says
Love it! I’d rather have a good start toward retirement than bling. Actually, I’m a fan of lab created bling, but cz will do in a pinch!
Kitty says
Smart couple…that you are. Although I am a childless widow, I sold my engagement ring and was surprised how much it was worth at auction. It was a beautiful ring, but I get a warmer feeling from the fact that I will have a nice nest egg for my upcoming retirement.
I have a couple more lovely pieces that will probably go the same way.
Engagement rings are nice, but since they are expected to be given, they just don’t feel special to me any more. My grandmother had an engagement cameo brooch and never wore a wedding ring.
I noticed online yesterday that they are making beautiful CZ engagement rings (and matching sets) mounted in stainless steel. Very nice.
I love being frugal!!!!!!
Frugal Babe says
Thanks Kitty! I’m glad your jewelry will be providing you with financial security. I’d say that’s better use of it than having it sit in a jewelry box. I love the idea of CZ rings in stainless steel settings – sounds practical and beautiful.
I love being frugal too! :)
Dea says
I’m so glad to hear that other people have done this! I’ve been secretly plotting the sale of my wedding set for a few months as well, it’s amazing what a few years of marriage and having a child, and simplifying can do :) Can you please tell me how you went about selling it? Was it through craigslist or online?
Frugal Babe says
I sold my ring on Craigslist, but I’m sure there are lots of ways of going about it. Mine was relatively low-end to begin with (in the $2000 – $2500 range, not the 10k+ range), so Craigslist seemed fine. For a higher-priced ring, there might be better options. Good luck!