For as long as I can remember, I have thrived on being busy. In the four years I was in college, I completed something like 170 credits (120 was needed for a degree), and also worked between 15 and 35 hours a week for the final three years of college. After my time in the Peace Corps, I took a job that technically required 52 hours a week, but usually ended up being more, and that only increased once I became a manager. After my husband and I started our own business, I took a side job at the library to help us make ends meet, and juggled the two jobs for several years. I liked being busy. I liked having a long to-do list. I felt successful and productive when I could look at all that I had accomplished in a day.
But I can feel myself changing. I no longer have such a strong desire to always be busy. I want downtime. I want to sit on the couch under a blanket with our son and read ten library books in a row. I want to work on whatever task I’m currently doing without six other planned tasks bouncing around in my head. I no longer feel the need to be busy all the time in order to feel like I’m a productive, worthy person.
The Happiest Mom wrote a great article about “I’m-so-busy-itis” a couple years ago, and it’s well worth a read. (Thanks to Rachel from Minimalist Mom for the link). I’ve never been one to detail my to-do list to other people or complain about how busy I am, but I’ve always done so in my own head. Especially since our son was born and I scaled way back on my responsibilities for our business, I’ve felt a need to make sure that I’m always busy in order to justify to myself that I’m still contributing as much to the family as my husband. But I’m finding that I just don’t feel the need to be that busy anymore. I don’t need to justify my worth to myself, and my husband would prefer that I be a little less busy anyway (although he works very hard, he’s always been better than me at unwinding and enjoying downtime).
I have lots of friends who fall into the “I’m-so-busy-itis” category, but I no longer feel any desire to be as busy as they are. I want simplicity, a slower pace, and a relatively short to-do list. I’ve been getting much better over the last year or so about not over-scheduling our weekends, and now I’m taking steps to simplify the smaller details of my life too. Last week I unsubscribed from all of the political/social/activist websites that had been sending me an average of about twenty emails a day. I had been getting so many that I found that I was just deleting most of them anyway, and now my in-box feels much lighter and cleaner. I still feel just as strongly about my political/social views as I ever have, but I don’t need hourly emails to remind me of my views or encourage me to donate money or time. Opting to receive far fewer emails is a very simple step, but it’s one that has made my life a little bit easier too, and I’m looking for ways that I can replicate this in other aspects of my life.
The biggest change I’ve made is the mental switch to not needing to be busy all the time in order to feel worthy, productive and happy. When friends talk about their over-crammed schedules, I don’t feel inferior for having half as much on my plate. Keeping our life as simple as possible – with lots of time to just hang out – is much more important to me these days than being busy all the time used to be. A minimalist attitude towards possessions makes this much easier, since we don’t need to be on a work-spend-work treadmill.
All in all, I’ve decided that being constantly busy and hurrying all the time is a bit over-rated. Even though I thought that I was thriving on that lifestyle for years, I definitely prefer the slower pace that I have now. I still feel productive, and get a lot done each day, but my pace is more relaxed, and I like it that way.
Springleaf says
Oh to be less busy! I have a full time job, a diploma to finish, a business to set up and I am a stepmum and have a loved partner. I tend to try and get all my jobs done as soon as I can, working towards when I have “nothing to do” i.e. other than relax! Glad you’ve managed to find that balance -I am still woking towards it!
mike crosby says
I agree. Today in SoCal it’s 70D and the sun is shining. I’m walking with my dog enjoying this beautiful day. As I walk, no one else is around. How sad. A beautiful day in a beautiful area, and no one to enjoy.
When I first started my business I did not like holidays because it meant less days to work. Now when I’ve been away from my phone and I turn it on, I’m glad that I don’t have any messages.
More free time, smaller to do list–You’re right, that’s a good thing.
Kat Landreth says
@Mike- I was out walking in socal today too. Must have missed you :)
I could use a little more motivation to be frantic sometimes… Everyone around me works s hard and I feel perfectly content most of the time to just sit back and chill. Until I feel guilty b/c my husband works sooo hard. Then I feel like a slacker.
I guess I could use a little bit More busy-itis. I hope to find the right balance one day.
Tiffany says
Good post. I struggle with this. Since graduating from high school over ten years ago I have always had at least two jobs. I’ve also gotten two bachelor’s degrees in that time. No matter how many credits I was taking, no matter how much money I was making, to me hard work equaled success.
I am still working two jobs, and am really struggling with finding balance. I’m hoping to work my per diem position for only one more year (to pay down student loans faster) and then limit myself to one job at a time only. My new minimalist lifestyle helps a lot with this. Now when I want to buy something I think how much longer I’ll have to work two jobs to do so…
Connie says
FB, one thing to note is that you aren’t becoming less busy so that you can veg-out in front of the tv. Extremely busy people often crave doing nothing, and the way they fill that void is with hours in front of a screen. It’s much better to find a balance, and definitely getting off the rat-race helps with that.
Mrs. Money says
I totally know what you mean about wanting to not be busy. Every day I wake up and just don’t want to go to work. I want to stay home and create wonderful food and take care of the house. On the other hand, I feel like I would be lazy and stupid if I cut back to part time at work, because why miss out on the money when I CAN work? We can use that money to save for a time when we have kids, or even pay down our mortgage.
I continue to work full time, but I make sure I don’t commit myself to many things so I have time to relax and do the things I love. It makes me happy when I can do that!
Molly On Money says
It’s the great thing about getting older- what seemed important then doesn’t seem so much now. I spent several years fearing my ‘drive’ was dying. It has and I can see how that drive served me well. If I kept the pace up I would just get all ag-ed and haggerty!
Cathy says
I just love your blog. This was a great post!! You always have great things to write about and I look forward to each of your posts.
Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
Blessings,
Cathy
Courtney says
I echo Cathy, I love every single thing you post, especially this one! I’m curious though, do you also feel like you finally “deserve” to be less busy now because of all the time you spent being busy? Is it more satisfying with the busy-ness behind you? Or do you wish to some extent you had embraced a less busy lifestyle sooner?
Jim says
It is such a wonderful experience to not be busy… I wish I could feel it right now… Enjoy it while it lasts.
FrugalBabe says
Courtney,
Thanks! In answer to your question, I feel pretty content with how my life has gone so far. Before our son was born, I was almost always happy to be busy. I always wanted to feel like I was working hard and being productive. I took it to a bit of an extreme during college – if I could go back and do those years over again, I might not take quite as many credits each semester, and I’d limit how many hours I worked during the school year. I didn’t enjoy the job I had after I came back from the Peace Corps, and I spent about 60 hours a week there for more than two years. But that’s where I met my husband, so it was definitely worth it! And keeping that job for the first year after my husband started our insurance agency was what kept us afloat financially during that time.
It really wasn’t until after our son was born that I stared feeling more of a desire to slow down and spend a bit more time doing nothing at all.