When our son was born, I knew that I wanted to raise a child who would eat whatever was put in front of him. For nearly six months, he was just breast fed. When we first introduced “solids” we started with pureed veggies and water, which I froze in ice cube containers and defrosted as we needed them. I think carrots and green beans were his first non-milk foods. We started gradually, introducing single foods and watching to make sure that he didn’t have any strange reactions. Everything looked good, and within a month we had made the switch to using a little food grinder and just giving him whatever we were eating.
After a few more months we were able to just cut or mash our food into tiny pieces rather than using the grinder. These days we just cut his food into pieces and let him feed it to himself. I still spoon feed him things like oatmeal and green smoothies every day, but he’s able to feed most food to himself now with his fingers. This evening we had a salad with avocado, tomato, spinach, arugula, onion, and fennel in balsamic vinegar. He ate every bite that we put on his highchair tray.
People have started to notice what a good eater our son is. They comment on how he eats so many vegetables without putting up a fuss. There’s really no secret here, but since we do get so many comments about it, and since I hear so many parents talking about how they wish their kids would eat more vegetables, I figured I’d share what we’ve learned.
First, we took the frugal route when it came to baby food. We’ve never purchased formula or any sort of prepackaged baby food. Our son still nurses about three times a day, and everything else he eats is just whatever we’re eating. This has a few advantages: it’s a lot cheaper than buying individual jars or boxes of baby food, there’s no packaging waste to deal with, and we’ve automatically exposed our son to a wide variety of foods. He loves things like curry, which we probably wouldn’t have found if we had gone the jarred foods route. I’ve heard a lot of people saying that they want to make baby food rather than buying jarred food, but that they don’t have time. I think these people are over-thinking the whole situation. You don’t have to go all out baby-gourmet here! There’s no need for special baby food cook books or anything like that. A simple baby food grinder will turn just about anything into instant baby food. (Of couse all of this is assuming that the parents eat reasonably well themselves. If they’re surviving on Big Macs and Ho Hos, the jarred baby food is a much better bet!)
As far as getting our son to eat vegetables (and whatever else we put in front of him), we just decided early on that there would be no substitute meals. Either he would eat what we served for a meal, or he wouldn’t eat. And the uneaten meal would go in the fridge and reappear a few hours later. Children are pretty smart critters. If they refuse to eat what you serve, and you offer an alternate meal, they will develop a pretty good strategy for eating whatever they like.
I think that a lot of parents start out assuming that their child won’t like vegetables, and assuming that they have to prepare or buy special meals for their child. I say that we should all start with the assumption that our children will LOVE vegetables (and whatever else we feed them), and then make it happen. It’s easier than you think, and actually a lot easier than the alternative (which in some families involves separate meals for the kids for years… no thanks!)
Our son is 13 months old, and so far he’s a great eater. I can’t predict the future as far as his preferences go, but I do know that there will never be alternative meals in our house. And I’ve noticed that children raised in that sort of environment don’t tend to become picky eaters. We’ll help our son start gardening as soon as he’s able, and encourage him to be involved in grocery shopping and cooking from an early age. Hopefully the eating habits we’re instilling now will stick with him as time goes by.
Emily says
We did a lot of the same with our son – I’m actually proud to say I never bought a single jar of baby food for him! But now he’s in his 5th year, and the independence has started. “I don’t like _____” (which was perfectly fine to him yesterday). I can see how it gets easier for parents to just make a separate meal just to keep the peace! We’re staying the course, though. He gets his choice of 3 different breakfasts, but after that, it’s whatever mom puts on the table, or go hungry. I feel like I’m running a restaurant in the morning, but it seems to placate that need to assert himself.
But as for picky eaters? Sometimes that happens despite your efforts. Once they start being exposed to other picky eaters, and see what’s “cool” and “not cool” to eat, the battle begins.
AD says
Your post on not buying baby food shows up with ads for baby food. That’s kind of funny. :)
I’m glad to hear this because my husband and I eat a LOT of veggies from the market each week, and if we have a child, I would want to help him or her develop a taste for real foods.
A lot of people at work make multiple meals for their kids (more than one kid can mean more than one meal) and some never sleep in their own bed because the children are insistant on sleeping with mom and dad, but their isn’t room, or insistant on mom sleeping in their bed. I don’t have kids, but that sounds awful. I think parents should stick to their guns…I’ve seen Supernanny a few times and that’s what she does. :)
Kay says
I totally agree with your approach. Mine eats anything, well almost anything put in front of her as well. I also cook with her and she enjoys eating the healthy wholesome cookies that she made.
Melani says
I have two children, raised exactly the same way and one will eat anything and one has about 4 foods she is willing to eat. We didn’t offer her an alternative meal thinking she’ll eventually get hungry enough. That was not the case, she ended up severely sick and the doctor finally said to feed her whatever she would eat. She’s 10 now and she eats the same few things for breakfast and lunch. Dinner she must eat with us and so very rarely eats dinner.
While I do agree that the things you offer make a difference, I have to also disagree that that’s all there is to it. Part of it is just your child. You may be blessed with a child who enjoys all types of food but you really can’t assume that your next child will just because you feed them a certain way. Everything I was really confident about with my first child ended up being the most frustrating things with my second.
kara says
I love it. I get so tired of hearing from friends of mine how their kids “just won’t eat anything” – as they drive through McDonalds and buy them a kid’s meal or hand them candy or whatever.
One thing my mom did that I swore I’d do if I had kids is this: We were allowed to have 3 things that we didn’t like and wouldn’t eat – because mom felt that everyone has things they truly don’t like (vs. being picky). If mom made any of those 3 things for dinner, we could substitute. Otherwise, we were expected to eat a reasonable amount of everything we were served. So on the days she made sutffed peppers, I could choose to have a pbj sandwich for dinner. But I couldn’t complain later about being hungry or wanting snacks. :)
I think it made life much easier on her and it drove home to us that while we were allowed to have likes and dislikes, we weren’t allowed to treat her like a short order cook and we were required to eat healthy meals overall.
MommyK says
I agree with your post. Unfortunately, I was raised on a handful of fruits and veggies myself and have been trying to train myself to like new foods since I’ve had children. It has been a difficult task. I have tried many different recipes with many different fruits and veggies, but not a whole lot has stuck in our meal rotation. My children eat a good variety of homemade, organic foods until around a year old and then they start to eat with us and their variety is more limited. I do make sure they eat fruits and veggies at every meal and for snacks, but it’s still a limited variety. I’ve also heard that the more variety you eat when you are pregnant, that will help develop a good variety in their pallet. Another strike against my children. I do eat healthy, but not a good variety. My children are ok eaters, and I do not give them alternative meals when they don’t want something. That doesn’t mean they don’t, on occasion, go to bed with only a few bites in their stomachs. But, we have preferences for different foods and I don’t know anyone who likes everything. I think as children get older (4,5,6), we need to respect their preferences like we respect our own. Why hold higher standards for them than we do for ourselves? My 4.5 daughter has tried oranges dozens of times. She is still required to take a bite if it is served to the family. But, she doesn’t like them. At some point I will not require her to try them. I’ve read that after 20 times they may just not like the food. But, childrens’ taste buds change in half the time adults do, so introducing it again later is good, too. I will continue on my search for new recipes to give my children a variety of foods, but in the end they will just eat what they like when they are adults, too. We do have a good amount of influence on them and should try our best to influence them positively. I’ve thought about serving them things I don’t like, but if you don’t eat it, they probably won’t either. I can’t force them to eat something I won’t. I think this is a great post for new parents just starting this stage of life, so thanks! Wish I could say I eat such a variety of foods as you do!
And, I agree with your statement about politics and different views. There is middle ground that we can all live with. Although some things will never be compromised, that doesn’t mean we have to stand on two side of the fence. Thanks for the reminder!
scantee says
I do agree with you with that multiple meals should not be an option for children. It is not a parent’s job to be a short order chef. That said, I believe that eating tendencies are more born than breed and this becomes especially obvious when you have more than one child. I have friends who have never offered alternate meals to any of their children and yet each of them vary greatly it what they will eat. Some of them patted themselves on the back for their parenting when their first child would eat anything only to follow the same practices with a second child who will eat nothing. That’s tough.
I only have one child and he is a pretty good eater. Not a huge vegetable fan but loves a wide variety of strange and some would say grown-up foods. I’m pregnant again so I’ll guess we’ll what the next one’s preferences are like. Our strategy is to make nutritious, varied foods for us as a family and then let them take it from there and not make a big deal about it. They’ll eat what they want to eat!
autumnesf says
Like one other commenter, I had 2 that I raised that way…and a third that broke me. Tell me a kid will eat when they get hungry enough…and I’ll show you a kid that the state would have taken away from me for refusing to eat for 3 days and dropping so much weight that she was considered failure to thrive. Its not always so easy. Not ALL kids will eat it even if they hate it….some kids would rather starve.
I didn’t want my daughter taken away by the state. I still don’t.
We still require bites of new foods (not trying them with a bad attitude you understand, just with unease). The gag reflex is not a put on. I often wonder if we have some sensory issues that have not been diagnosed.
Be careful on judging those that will feed one child a different food. They may not really have a choice. Have a ped threaten you over a kids weight and see what you would do.
Jane says
I’m no expert, but I am guessing that breastfeeding prepares the baby for the tastes of the family foods -curry for example. I am sure some of those spicy flavors get into the breast milk and make future foods all the more familiar. My mother had the same take it or leave it philosophy with one exception- Cheerios. My brother made himself a bowl of Cheerieos every day for years instead of eating our dinner. Today he eats *everything* and is one of the healthiest people I know. Stay the course! There are a lot of lessons here and healthy eating is the least of them.
fairydust says
I think it’s easier when they are small – they have no preconceived notions about anything. My son ate everything we offered him when he was little. Then he developed an opinion based on looks. Suddenly nothing green was to be in his food at all. There went most veggies I was cooking. Then green was okay but not brown, so suddenly no mushrooms or onions in anything. I don’t think it was taste – he’s just opinionated. For awhile no cold sandwiches of any kind. Then no hot sandwiches. Sounds weird, but every person is different and tastes manifest in so many ways :) I’m just glad he eats and recognizes that junk/fast food is not good for him.
L@spillingbuckets says
My parents raised me the way you are raising your son, and I plan to raise my own children the same way.
As infants we had to eat what they gave us, although there was some canned baby food. When we were older we had to try at least 3 full bites of whatever it was, and if we REALLY didn’t like one portion of the meal we could leave that portion and eat the rest, but no additions could be made and we always had to finish at least 1/2 of all everything regardless.
Honestly, there weren’t too many things I disliked (still true today) and I can only recall actively resisting one thing – spinach – which today I love. I will still try 2-3 bites of new foods before making a decision on them.
Good job raising your child without pre-made, fast, unhealthy food. It does take effort to eat well but it’s totally worth it.
UPS477 says
When growing up we had to eat what was put in front of us no matter what or it was our breakfast the next morning and so on until we ate it. My mom did one night each week make something she knew each one of us kids did enjoy & would eat. That was a pain also as my brother enjoyed homemade pizza with peppers on it and I could not pick them off.
With my kids I stuck to the same basic rule but with some give in it. One night a week I would make each kids special meal but if one did not like something like peppers or along that line they could pick it off or out as long as they ate the rest of the meal. My youngest son did not like meats unless it was slow cooked for hours & fell of the bones so I had to use a slow cooker for 80% of my meals to get him to eat. The doctor also told me that as long as he chewed the meat and spit out the pulp he got all the nutriton he needed that way. There was no need to make him digest the pulp he hated so much. This helped us out so much with him!
lt says
i was raised like you were and i’m raising my daughter (20 mo. old) the same way. she’s a good eater and not picky. i almost always make two course meals at lunch and dinner. my strategy is this: she’s allowed to eat whatever she wants from the table, as much as she wants. i don’t cook anything special, and i don’t bring anything else from the kitchen. he doesn’t want to eat zucchini dish that day? fine, eat the rice. she usually gives in the next meal. of course this isn’t written on stone. more than a few times, she didn’t want anything that’s on the table. i gave in and gave her yogurt, which she loves. we eat plain yogurt every day, anyway.