Four years ago, the focus of my blog was money. I wrote about our efforts to earn it, save it, and pay down debt. I identified with the personal finance blogosphere, and was quite wrapped up in things like calculating our net worth, and making sure it was always higher than it had been the month before.
As the years went by, my focus shifted. I’m sure that getting out of debt (other than our mortgage) had a lot to do with that, as it took off a great deal of pressure. I think that the birth of our son had something to do with it too – it gave us something much more important than money to focus on. I find that these days, I don’t know our exact net worth, and I’m ok with that. I could sit down and tally it up, but I’d rather watch my son “make a pizza” on the living room floor, using every saucepan and utensil from our kitchen. Don’t get me wrong – we’re still quite focused on building a stable financial future for our family. We pay a significant amount of extra principal on our mortgage every month, and have money automatically transferred to several savings and retirement accounts each month. I know that we live well below our means, and that’s enough for me.
These days, rather than focusing on money, I’m much more interested in living simply and mindfully. I’m a lot more likely to be reading a blog about simple living than one about interest rates and ETFs. I read a great article about money by Joshua Becker a few days ago, and I think I identify with what he’s saying much more so than I would have a few years ago. These days, I tend to view money as boxed-up time, and just as I want to make sure that we’re making the most of the time that we have, I also want to make sure that we’re spending our money wisely and consciously, in a way that fits with our overall values and goals.
I do still think about money quite a bit. I think that’s just part of my personality – I’ve enjoyed saving money since I was a little girl. I like seeing the outstanding balance on our mortgage go down each month, and I like knowing that we’re steadily building a financial cushion to protect us against future income drops or emergency situations. But I think that my relationship with money is a lot better than it was a few years ago. I understand that money is only valuable when we use it in ways that benefit ourselves or others, and that the pursuit of money can become an endless quest if we let it.
We’ve managed to avoid lifestyle inflation over the years, and I feel that our focus on simple, mindful living has helped us do so. Realizing that we have enough – and that we don’t need more stuff – is a very freeing concept, and one that allows us to focus on things that are much more important than our net worth. There has been a lot of research done over the years to determine whether money makes us happy, and the general consensus I’ve seen is that it does, up to a certain point. If a family is struggling with poverty, additional income to cover necessary expenses will indeed make them happier. But past a certain point, extra money does not equal extra happiness. It just begins to create a cycle of wanting more and more stuff, and spending more and more money. And if we’re not truly content once we have the basics covered, nothing we buy will make us content in the long run.
Claire in CA, USA says
So many of your posts make me uncomfortable, but in a good way.
My husband’s paycheck doesn’t cover the basics (and he just got a pay cut), my work has declined in recent years, and my husband works many side jobs to make ends meet. We don’t have luxuries, and the worst of our debt is our house (in which we have a ridiculous amount of equity), and a little bit of cc debt (which we are working on). I find myself always wanting more. When we do get a windfall, it goes out the door so quickly, it makes my head spin.
Thank you for posting so honestly and succinctly. It helps me to get my head around what I need to do to improve our own financial outlook, and to get my attitude in line with our reality.
Rachel Jonat aka the minimalist mom says
Excellent post, Frugal Babe. We’re still in the paying off debt phase but that Joshua Becker post really hit home for me too.
“if we’re not truly content once we have the basics covered, nothing we buy will make us content in the long run”
This is so true! I feel like I am just learning this and I am 33.
Leah says
This is how I feel too! I do read PF blogs . . . but so much of it just passes me by. I vaguely know my net worth, and I know that I put money into savings each month. I’m not sure how much I spend out of monthly earnings because my monthly intake has always been unpredictable from year to year (I’ve worked a lot of short term and/or commission jobs). But, year after year, I keep saving more.
I’m not exactly sure how I got this way. I’m just 28 and still don’t make much money. But I have always felt it is much better to be doing what I like than getting paid a lot. I enjoy going to work. I’m passionate about everything I do. And I make things work. I think I may have developed this after a few years of working a job I only somewhat enjoyed during high school/college — my mom kept telling me not to turn down a sure thing. And I missed some good career building opportunities just to bank some extra cash.
I don’t mind tracking my money (and I always do so while on vacation), but every time I’ve tried to force myself to fit a pre-defined amount, even when I arrived there by looking at previous spending, I’ve gotten frustrated. In practice, what works best for me is carefully evaluating needs versus wants, thinking over wants for a period of time, and buying them once I know I’ve thought it through. Somehow, knowing in the back of my mind that I want something specific helps me not spend money in other areas — I’m quite good at saying “I could go to the movie, get take out, or get a haircut . . . or save that money for _______ (toward cross-country skiis, night in a hostel, going out to lunch in a different country, etc).”
The Silver Purse says
FrugalBabe~ you’re in a place where you’re peaceful about money, and can focus more on other things in life. That comes from managing it well, setting up automatic savings, and getting consumer debts paid down. Well done!
One other category it’s good to cover is managing risk. You sound financially savvy, so maybe you already have disability insurance for the main income provider and other necessary insurances. Here’s a post where I covered what types of insurance people really need. http://thesilverpurse.com/Insurance-Types (No, I don’t sell insurance LOL–just a believer in managing risk appropriately.) Robin
FrugalBabe says
Robin,
Thanks! And yes, risk management is a big part of our overall plan. We work as insurance agents, so we’ve made sure we’re well-covered. In addition to the basics (health, home, and auto insurance), we also have significant amounts of life insurance, a solid umbrella policy, and disability insurance. We’ve insured against most potential problems… now hopefully we never have to use any of that coverage!
Kristia@Family Balance Sheet says
I remember when I first started reading your blog when you wrote about money saving, frugal living, such as cloth diapers, handmade gifts, diy projects, etc. I followed you as you purged to the point where I wondered if there was anything left in your home. Now I enjoy your posts about gardening and homesteading. I have noticed you evolving over the years and your contentment and peace come through in your posts.
FrugalBabe says
Thanks Kristia! Oh, there is definitely a lot left in our house! Right now, all of our baking pans are on the couch, filled with “muffins” (wooden blocks) and all of our cooking utensils are being used to make pizzas out of round pot holders and return address stickers that came in the mail. Our living room is a sight to behold :) But I love it that way – our little guy is using his imagination, and I don’t mind the mess.
What I love is that the stuff we do still have is stuff we use on a regular basis. There are no longer closets and storage areas filled with stuff that we haven’t used in ages, and the basement is much less cluttered than it was a year ago. These days, we don’t do much purging, but we’re very careful about what we bring into the house, and we rarely shop for anything other than food. So we’re doing a pretty good job of maintaining our level of stuff, rather than letting it grow.
Molly On Money says
I took a similar turn as you once we paid off consumer debt (we still have a mortgage to tackle). My husband and I now have space to breath and have simplified our lives rather then working more. My husband will be laid off in March and a year ago we would have freaked out and lost sleep over the change of events. Now we look at it as an opportunity and are happy we have scaled down our expenses to such a degree we no longer need to both work.
Jim says
it is amazing how life circumstances can prove to you just how important other things besides money are. It sounds like you have your priorities in the perfect order now!