Last week we got a box of baby stuff from a friend who lives in another state. She loves to shop, and had bought us several baby boy things from Target. Mostly clothes, which we have oodles of already. We’ve gotten more hand-me-downs than our baby will ever need. He’s going to outgrow some of his clothes before he ever wears them. So… I took the clothes back to Target. My friend had included a gift receipt, and she lives in another state so it’s not like she would have seen him wearing the clothes anyway. (I sent a thank you card of course, and I did keep some of what she sent). I got an $18 gift card when I returned the clothes, and promptly used it to buy groceries. I ended up with two bags of food instead of cute baby clothes. I just really didn’t need any more clothes for our baby, and I figured groceries were a lot more practical way to use the money. Have you ever returned a gift and bought something totally different instead?
April says
I wish I could do it more often! We received a wedding gift from Target that was a starter set of cooking gadgets and utensils. My husband and I are avid cooks, and we already had all of these items (and we’ve bought good-quality stuff that will last a lifetime). I exchanged the gadget set and received $30, which I, too, used for groceries!
In fact, we’re using the remainder of our wedding gift cards on groceries this month, and we’re takings the savings on our grocery bill to use it toward our credit card. We’re hoping to be free of credit card debt by the end of July.
One Frugal Girl says
Kudos on returning an item you didn’t need, rather than keeping it, just because you received it as a gift. I’m definitely a returner. Why let a good gift go to waste, simply because you don’t like it?
April makes an interesting point. If you register at places like Babies-R-Us, you know you can only buy baby related items. If you register at Target you can return the items you don’t want for items you do need, like groceries.
I know Frugal Babe didn’t register for baby items, but for those who do, that’s a great idea.
J says
I totally disagree with FB and the commenters on this one. Had you returned the clothes and bought something vaguely baby-related I would feel like you were honoring the spirit of the gift. Your friend sent you clothes for your baby, not money to buy groceries. If you had too many baby clothes already, fine, find something else you need for the baby and buy that. Or at the very least put that extra $18 you spent on groceries into the kid’s college fund, on top of what you already contribute. My family is all about returning gifts that aren’t quite right and I think that that’s a good philosophy. But then we’re expected to use the money to buy something else, not spend it on necessities. It seems like a very odd use of money from a friend’s gift.
FrugalBabe says
I had wondered if anyone would cry foul on this one, so thanks for your comments J. I did spend about ten minutes in the baby section at Target after I returned the clothes. But I didn’t see anything at all that we needed. We already have a lot of stuff, and we’re trying to be as non-consumeristic as possible in raising our son (just like the rest of our life). So I didn’t want to buy a baby gadget just because it was there. Target only gives gift cards for returns with a gift receipt, so I had to spend the money at the store. I did debate it for a few minutes, for exactly the reasons you mentioned, but in the end I went with food – something I knew we would use.
Smart Girl = MP says
I have to agree with J on this. The gift was to celebrate the birth of your son. I don’t know who your friends are and what your financial situation is, however, if I were the giver of the gift and found out my hard earned $$ went from being a gift to your son to food on your table, I’d be both offended and hurt. That said, however, I would hope that I would have been a close enough friend not to send you something you didn’t need or want. But, since it was my desire to celebrate the joy of your child’s birth, I would hope you would find a way to use funds from the gift that would benefit him later. I’m sure the clothing could have been traded for when he is older (18 months or 5 years… wouldn’t mttter – still would have been within the spirit of the gift). If you had elected not to use the $$ for clothing, then I would hope you would use it to purchase a picture frame — even if it were to just “re-gift” later to me with a photo of your family. My point is that gifts, in whatever form, shouldn’t be traded for consumable necessities. If you don’t need/want the item, take the gift card and wait until the you see something you do want.
FrugalBabe says
I’m glad that this post has generated some debate – much more fun than everyone agreeing with each other :) My question to Smart Girl and J would be why do you differentiate between a consumable necessity and a non-consumable item that is fun but not a necessity? It seems that if I’m going to return the gift and get something else (ie, not just the same item in a different size), I’m already getting away from the original spirit of the gift, because I’m picking out something other than what the giver picked out for me. I think this is actually the first time I’ve ever returned a gift, so this is new territory for me.
April says
So FB should buy something her family doesn’t need to maintain this “spirit” of a gift?
Isn’t financial security (which comes from both big and small decisions) the best gift she could ever give her son?
I wouldn’t be offended if someone took back something they couldn’t use, but then, I hate having STUFF just for the sake of having it. Clutter drives me mad.
v says
Financial security is the responsibility of Frugal Babe and her husband, I believe her friend’s gift was not intended to subsidize their household. Instead Frugal Babe bought groceries, what if she decided to buy film for her camera or underwear for herself. The point is I doubt that her friend would have given her money towards groceries, film or underwear, since Frugal Babe and her husband are not destitue. She could have returned the gift since she truly didn’t need it or want it.
mc says
wow, this is fascinating!
I think by sending a return receipt, the giver was including approval for a return or exchange.
Personally, I would much rather have a friend exchange a gift for something wanted or needed than to see it unused in their home.
Also, FB only returned a portion of the gift (still keeping some baby supplies), and the thank you and contact iwth the friend is the most important thing, anyways.
Finally, friends are friends, they know and appreciate each other’s values.
estelle says
I did, once. I returned a duplicate gift I received at my baby shower and got myself a skillet with the money. I did not feel bad at all, I think babies receive a lot of stuff that they don’t need anyway.
Kelly from My Small Cents says
I have to admit that when I saw this post, my first thought was ‘I hope her friend doesn’t read this blog!’ I agree with the previous posters: buying groceries just somehow doesn’t seem ‘right’ to me. My thought would be to get a gift card if you really couldn’t find something you liked immediately, or to buy something that you will need in a few years. After all, if there is one given about babies, it is that they get bigger.
Stacy Claire Boyd Birth Announcements says
An even better concept would be, trading in used baby clothes for food, their are so many starving children in the world today
Brandi says
I used all duplicate and unneccesary gifts to buy more diapers/wipes–something baby will definitely need!!! You can truly never have enough diapers for the first few years!!
Amanda says
Maybe less debate would have been brought up if you’d bought baby food to use when he’s older. However, with the way you’re frugal you’ll probably make that too! =) i say as I wait for my coconut milk ice cream to freeze…
rachelmynaturallyfrugalfamily says
Often. I feel a little bit of remorse when I do it, but then I think that it makes the money that much more better spent by getting things we can use instead of frivolous things that will just end up in the Goodwill bag. Good to know there are others out there like myself :)